The Student Becomes The Teacher
by madeli
Summary: James and Lily had a normal relationship, that of student and tutor. But that was before... And now? Well, they are still teacher and student but the roles have reversed, in a way no one would have suspected.
1. Damn Dreams!

**Chapter 1**

She was there again. She came every night now and it seems there was nothing he could do about it. Was she haunting him? There had to be a reason he always saw her. Every evening progressed the same and this night was no exception. He was seated in the Gryffindor common room, alone because of the lateness of the night. The fire had been reduced to mere cinders and the only sound bouncing off the tapestry walls was the sound of James' quill scratching against blank parchment. He had been working for over an hour and as he placed his quill down, he realized how tired he was. His hands were cramped and his neck ached from the schoolwork he was constantly immersed in. As he leaned back to stretch the sore muscles in his back, he saw her.

She was walking down the dormitory staircases , hair everywhere and eyes still groggy. But James had never seen Lily look so beautiful. She wore a white nightgown that barely made it to the middle of her thigh. With it being held on by two small straps and showing ample cleavage, it was the sexiest thing he had ever seen. As she continued down the stairs, she smiled lazily at James. His eyes widened at her expression and he quickly glanced behind him to see if another had come into the room. But the room was just as it was before, silent except for the sound of their own breathing. He then turned from her and stared into the dying fire. As his breathing increased and his heartbeat quickened, he thought of his first form of action. Be cool James. Stay calm and be cool. As he collected himself he looked up to see a angelic Lily gliding towards him. She nimbly dragged her hand along the edge of the sofa as she came to sit on the coffee table in front of James. He opened his mouth to speak when she rested her elbows on her knees, showing more breast, and gave a beautiful smile to James. He was speechless. It was only after a few seconds that he recovered enough to finally speak.

"Hi Lily. How are you this even..."

He was silenced by a slender finger placed upon his lips. He swallowed awkwardly as the finger glided down his chin and onto his throat. Lily made lazy figures upon his collarbone as her finger dipped onto the chest revealed by his loosened tie and unbuttoned shirt. The finger that lay upon his smooth chest became a hand that further unbuttoned his uniform.

"Lily, I really d-don't think you should uh, should be doing this."

"James, James, James. I've seen the way you look at me, the way your breathing shortens at the mere sound of my voice. Very much like it is doing now. I know what you have been thinking when you see me doing my school work or walking to class. The thoughts of you and I together... intimately. It's etched into your very face; it's burned into your mind. So I am confused as to why you would be asking me to stop when the very thing you have been dreaming of all this time is about to come true."

"Shouldn't we talk about this a little?"

"Talking can only make this moment worse. Don't you feel it?"

"What?"

"The way my skin feels against yours. The way your chest seems to be on fire after I've touched it. The way you feel inside when I am so close to you that you can kiss me."

James swallowed hard before responding. "Yeah, I feel it."

He was suddenly emboldened by her forward words and he lifted his shaky hand, placing it upon her ivory arm. With the back of his hand, he stroked her skin, sliding down until it rested upon her own hand. She closed her eyes for a moment before opening them once more to span her hands across his expansive chest. He looked into her eyes and saw the brilliant, green eyes that were now clouded with lust. She cocked an eyebrow before he looked down to see her hands pushing his shirt off of his shoulders to make a pool on the Gryffindor couch. She giggled as she loosened his tie and slid it up over his head.

She looked at his chest and let out a soft whistle. She looked up at him and he smiled sheepishly.

"Um, what can I say?"

"You could say that all that Quidditch practice has done you a lot of good James Potter."

Her glance trailed down to his hands, which were trembling with anxiety.

"James, relax." As she spoke these two words, she rose from the coffee table and seated herself upon his broad legs. With her knees enclosing his own, her sheer, white night gown glided higher up her smooth thigh. James' breath hitched as his growing arousal was trapped under her and he caught sight of her creamy skin. Relaxing was the last thing on his mind.

"I'm finding it very difficult to relax Lily."

"Well, let me help you."

She grabbed his shaky hand and placed it on her thigh, below the hem of her night gown.

He hitched his breath at finally feeling the skin he had dreamt about for months.

"That didn't really help."

"No?" she asked innocently. "Let me try something else."

Her mouth dropped to the hot skin of his collarbone as she began licking her way down his chest. As she came to the crevice between his nipples, she halted to look up at James. His head had fallen back onto the couch and he was struggling for breath. She smiled, dipping her head to place her lips over his nipple. As she nibbled and licked his nipple, she could feel his arousal growing and pressing against her. His breath became more labored and his hand slipped farther up her thigh. He suddenly turned rigid. Lily stopped her delicate moves.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's just that you, you aren't wearing any... any underwear."

She smiled wickedly. "That's right."

She lowered her head once more to kiss his abdomen while her hands began to unbuckle his belt. Lily gasped for air as his hands came around to cup her bottom, pulling her further into his lap so that her hips touched his stomach, drawing her closer to his erection. She laughed as he slid his hands softly up to her waist. He had not yet gathered enough courage to venture to the hidden place between her legs. He lifted her chin so he could see her face. She rose from his chest and looked at him.

"What are you thinking about James?"

"About how long I have been waiting for this. How much I want you right now. You are driving me crazy."

"Am I?"

The only response that she got was a slow nod, his eyes concentrated on something other than her face. She grabbed his hands from her waist and placed them roughly upon her breasts. She guided him as she moved his hands in circles around her breasts, letting them tease her nipples slightly. She let her hands fall and her head lolled around from the pleasure she felt from his hands on her body. She began whimpering from the tension growing in her lower stomach, and she was soon emitting soft moans. She opened her eyes when she felt him suddenly stop.

"Why did you stop?" She whined the question causing James to groan with lust.

She looked down to see him fumbling with the buttons that made a line down the center of her night gown. She grasped James' hands that were nervously trying to undue her nightgown and began slowly undoing the buttons herself. James couldn't believe this was happening. He was about to see what he had been longing to see for what seemed like ages. After feeling her perfect bottom and flat stomach, the sight of her breasts alone would send him over the edge. And he couldn't wait much longer. As the last button was about to be undone and her beautiful body be revealed, she stopped. She opened her mouth to speak and what came out was quite unusual.

"Jesus James! Why do we have to go through this everyday?"

James gave her a puzzled look. "What?"

"Get the hell out of bed!"

The image of Lily was suddenly lost and James sat straight up in his four post bed covered in sweat. As his blurred vision became clear, he saw his three roommates hurriedly getting dressed for the school day ahead. He looked at his friend Sirius, who in his rushed state took a moment to glance at his friend.

"Thank God. I thought you had gone into some kind of coma. Get the hell up. We're fucking late."

James pulled back his comforter and set his feet on the cold wood floor. He stood up and stretched back, remembering the way Lily's hands had felt on his chest and along the top of his pants.

"So Prongs, did you have a nice slumber? Was it filled with pleasant dreams?"

"Yeah, in fact it was. How did you know?"

"Oh, I don't know. I think the first thing that gave it away was... the giant bulge in your pants!"

James looked down to see that the huge erection he had felt when Lily rocked on his lap had continued to reality. He smiled sheepishly as his roommates chuckled at his current condition. He moved quickly to the bathroom and considered the ways in which to get rid of his current situation. He decided a cold shower would be the best remedy. As he let the freezing water wash over his burning skin, he relished in the memories of the night before. As he went through the fantasy for the third time, he wondered why last night's dream had left a remnant the next morning for all of his friends to see. He had had the same dream for over a week and he had never become so aroused. This thought brought him to another. Why did he never get to see what he had been waiting so long to catch a glimpse of? She always reached the bottom button and then the dream ended. This unfortunate ending was not only causing him to loose sleep but also the sexual frustration was becoming unbearable. Every time he now saw Lily, it brought to mind obscene thoughts of her licking his nipple and him groping her bottom.

He stepped out of the shower and thought of the real Lily. The quiet beauty he had only noticed about two months ago. As he walked up to the mirror and began gelling his unruly hair, his three friends waltzed into their bathroom. No longer concerned with the time, they only smiled before beginning their questions. Padfoot began the interrogation.

"So... who was it about this time?"

"No one in particular."

"Bullshit. Who?"

"Will you get the hell off of my back? I'm trying to get ready here. It was you who informed me just how late we were."

Remus came up behind him, looking at him through the mirror. "I don't suppose it was a Miss Evans?"

James continued to shave as if he hadn't heard the question. His friends began making obscene noises behind him and he couldn't help but smile.

"We were wondering when you were going to crack. I mean, how could you not? I know I wouldn't be able to last long with her beautiful red hair so close to me, her scent lingering under my nose, her knee always accidentally touching mine. The long, stuffy nights in the library are really getting to you. Not to rain on your parade Prongs, but I doubt you can get that. Not only is she a year older than you, but she is also your tutor, not to mention a bit of a prude."

"Padfoot, I would appreciate it if you gave me a little more credit than that. You and I together have had a very good portion of the worthy females at this school."

He turned away from the sink, razor still in hand and stood up straight, taking on the pose of a world-class athlete.

"Over the years, my skills have only been sharpened and I feel that I am ready for this challenge."

Remus and Sirius smiled at their friend's overwhelming arrogance. "Doubtful, very doubtful," Sirius remarked. "You have been hinting to her for a month now and she hasn't really gotten any of it. She's clueless. I doubt you will suddenly be able to make your intentions clear to her."

"Oh, we'll see."

"Fine, fine. So... let's hear this dream."

He grinned as he dropped his razor into the warm water of his sink. "Well, I've been having it for over a week."

He continued to tell the story of his encounter with Lily as they walked nonchalantly to breakfast. They listened intently as they all sat down at the Gryffindor table. He was just revealing the bit where he began to unbutton her night gown when the object of his admiration walked towards them.

"She was on the last button. She had even undone it and I was just about to get a glimpse. I was so cl..."


	2. You're Here To Study James

**Chapter 2**

He was stopped in mid-sentence by a small cough behind him. He watched as small smirks formed on his pals' faces. He turned slowly to see a beautiful redhead staring down at him with the same green eyes he had seen filled with lust less than an hour ago. But instead of lust, he only saw studious discipline and what he could only guess was a thirst for knowledge. But maybe he read them wrong considering her thinly framed glasses were catching a bit of glare from the floating candles.

"Um, hi Lily."

"Hello James. I just was wondering when you would like to meet for tutoring again."

"I, uh, I…"

Sirius quickly chimed in with a response. "Oh Lily, I really think you guys should meet immediately. He is going to just burst if you don't "meet" soon."

The connotation was obvious to all four of the boys and was received with soft chuckles and a scornful look from James. But Lily was oblivious to the emphasis or the response it got from the Marauders.

"Oh really? Well, I'm glad to hear that my abilities are helping in the whole process. It seems my experience in this area is making this go much smoother than both of us had expected. So we should keep going at it then?"

"What?" James couldn't believe what she had just said. Either he was much too sick minded or she was much too naïve. He continued to look at her strangely as he heard his friends almost falling to the floor from laughter.

"When do you want me to tutor you in Charms again?"

"I think that, uh, this evening would be best for, er for me."

"Sounds good. Shall we meet in the library around eight?"

"I think that, uh, that uh."

Remus spoke for James, saying, "He thinks that would be wonderful. He shall see you there."

Lily looked at them oddly before smiling politely at the four of them and returning to her friends and her own breakfast. As she sat down she said something serious to her friends, causing them to turn and laugh at the Marauders. Sirius responded by winking at one of them before returning to his tea. When his cup was finished, he smirked knowingly at James. James caught the look out of the corner of his eye.

"What?"

"You're pathetic."

"Am I? Pray tell, why?"

"You, my friend, are pathetic because of what just happened. You see, you told us that you had been subtly hinting to Lily what you had in mind for the two of you but by what the three of us just saw, that clearly is a lie. You are complete mush around her. She has you wrapped around her finger and she isn't even trying. And the sad thing is that you would think that this pathetic, stuttering thing would make her even more aware of the fact that you like her than the sexual innuendos that you are famous for, but instead she now sees you as a squirmy, _pathetic_ sixth year. I think pathetic is the perfect word for what you are right now, mate. Completely pathetic."

James dug his fork roughly into his eggs, a scowl sprawled across his face. He unfortunately knew that Sirius was right. He wasn't his usual self around her; he was a jumble of nerves and feelings. If only he could act as he normally did around the opposite sex. He was known to most of the female population at Hogwarts as a charmer, a debonair sixth year that used his God given gifts to the fullest, meaning his looks. He was no longer a scrawny first year timidly awaiting the Sorting ceremony. No, Quidditch had been sure to change that. He was in the best shape of his life. His toned abs, muscular arms, and tanned skin only complimented his raven colored hair and sky blue eyes.

And he hadn't been exaggerating when he had told Sirius earlier that he and James had conquered more than half of the female population at Hogwarts. It was a game that had developed in his third year and just like Quidditch, he had dominated. And no matter how much of a cliché it was, he couldn't help but keep a close record on his bedpost. Life was good. He excelled in everything he did. School was a breeze and there was nothing but clear skies ahead. That is how he began his sixth year anyways. Unfortunately, the skies had clouded up a bit, and not simply because Lily had entered his life. He remembered the day that had changed when he had walked into the Charms classroom to find something or shall we say someone to end his perfect existence.

_James walked to his seat besides Sirius. As he strolled nonchalantly to his chair he heard the familiar sound of whispers and giggles. He remembered the time he had first heard those in his third year, wondering what they could possibly mean. But now he knew that it was only him they were whispering about. He grinned and ruffled his hair as he slid into the seat. He patted Sirius on the back before leaning back so as to hear exactly what praises they were giving him today._

"_Oh, I know, I never have seen someone so handsome. I saw him this morning in the dining hall and I almost fainted from his beauty. To think that someone like that is actually at Hogwarts."_

_James smirked and mouthed the words "Why, thank you." to no one in particular. If he actually spoke to them, they would realize he was listening and halt all adoration of his heavenly body. Why would he want that? He leaned back further in his chair while pretending to whistle and take down a few notes._

"_And I can't believe his smile. It practically blinded me this morning."_

_James frowned. He didn't remember smiling at her this morning. But after all, he handed so many smiles out it was hard to keep them all straight._

"_And his voice! I felt my knees give out when he was talking to Dumbledore in the hallway. It's so soothing and sexy at the same time. I would give anything to hear that voice next to me at night."_

_He almost laughed at the crudeness of this comment but held it in when he realized that he had not talked to Dumbledore this morning. Was it not him they were speaking of? He decided that this would be a perfect moment to break into the conversation._

"_Ladies, ladies, I do love the compliments but you should really consider the fact that there are children around. I mean, let's keep the vulgar comments to a minimum, shall we?"_

_They all stared at him oddly while he simply displayed his most seductive smile. One of them opened her mouth but closed it just as quickly. Another, he believed to be named Rose, took her role and spoke the first words._

"_Excuse me James, but we are actually speaking about someone else."_

"_Really? Well, I can't think of anyone -besides myself of course- that fits what you are saying. May I ask who you are madly gushing about then?"_

"_You mean, you don't know?"_

"_Why would I ask if I did?"_

"_You haven't met the new Charms professor?"_

"_New Charms professor?"_

"_That's what we said. His name is Professor Snape, Professor Kieran Snape. And he is the dreamiest man in this entire school."_

"_Excuse me, but I thought I was the dreamiest man at Hogwarts."_

"_Um, no, correction, you are the dreamiest "boy" at Hogwarts. He is the dreamiest man. A very large difference I'm afraid."_

_At the thought of such affection going to someone other than himself, something stirred with him like jealousy and his arrogant sense of competition. He also immediately disliked this Kieran Snape. Not only was he apparently dreamier than him, but by his last name he must have some relation to the Slytherin slime that crawled the halls. Could he possibly be a family member of the boy known to most as Severus and known to James as asshole? If so this new professor was automatically on his shit list. Like father, like son in his book._

_He turned away from the bubbling girls, with his smile turning to a frown. He was brewing in his own frustration when he heard the classroom door slam behind him. He turned his head slightly to see a tall man storming to the front of the classroom. As he reached the front of the room, he turned sharply, creating a flurry of cloaks making all the girls gasp. There he stood, the man they had been talking about and the girls had not exaggerated. He was tall, over six feet, with dark brown hair lying loosely in waves that reached his ears and fell lazily across his forehead. He had dark skin clear of any blemishes, formed from a mix of genetics and time in the sun. His lips were full and red and his nose and chin strong. But the most surprising and intriguing characteristic were his eyes. They were the color of gold and could be seen from across the room. They literally lit up the room. James broke his stare and realized to his own chagrin that his mouth had fallen open slightly. He was a male and even he couldn't get his eyes off of him. He suddenly slapped his forehead. What the hell was he thinking? 'You better not be becoming a fag James!' he said to himself._

_As he introduced himself to the entire class, he voice floated across the room. The girls in the room were absolutely entranced. One girl actually fell out of her seat and Snape smirked as he continued to describe the syllabus for the year. After he set some rules for the coming year and handed everyone a list of topics, he made everyone stand and introduce themselves. Sirius and James almost vomited from the cheesiness of it all. The girls were trying desperately to gain his attention but his eyes rested on them only long enough for them to utter their names._

_As his gaze shifted to Sirius, he spoke._

"_So you must be one of the "Marauders" I have heard so much about. James, right?"_

"_Um, no I'm Sirius."_

"_Ah, well then you shall be spared. I have heard many things about the four of you. I only hope that your childish antics are kept outside of this classroom."_

_Sirius and James frowned at the comment. James wondered what exactly Sirius was being spared of and how he knew that Sirius was a Marauder. He was hating this man more every moment._

"_And you are?"_

_James suddenly snapped back to reality and looked up at the realization that it was he Snape was talking to._

"_Oh, I'm James, James Potter."_

_He looked at Snape at his cool smirk shifted to a look of hatred. It was only there for a second before it was once again replaced by the boyish smile._

"_I must say James, that your reputation proceeds you."_

"_Thanks?"_

"_I would not take that as a compliment."_

_He kept his eyes on James for a moment with a threatening stare before shifting them to a chubby girl standing beside him._

Since that first moment that they had met there had been an unspoken hatred between the two. James later discovered that Kieran was Severus' brother and hated him for good reason. It appeared that Severus had told Kieran of every single humiliation that James had afflicted upon him. If it was humanly possible, James believed that Kieran had more of a hatred for him than Severus did. He couldn't really understand how such a dislike had developed; he had never been that awful to Snape. Well okay, maybe he had been particularly mean but this was the kind of thing boys needed. It built character in James' opinion.

But apparently Kieran didn't share that opinion. Because he now took every opportunity given to him to hurt James whether it be by taking points from the Gryffindor house or giving him extra school work that took up most of his evenings. The same evenings that had been spent chasing tail and developing elaborate pranks. Since their introduction, his time in Charms had been absolute hell.

He replayed the moment in his head as he sat gnawing on a piece of bacon.

"So when are you going to finally put the first move on fair Lily?"

"Well, I'll try this evening."

"The sooner the better mate. For I'm sure that if you become, shall we say more "intimate" with her, I bet she'll become a better tutor."

"She's already an excellent tutor."

"Yeah, well, I'm sure you are really enjoying her… brains. Even if she is, it appears as if you are stilling barely scraping by in Charms, mate."

"That's better than what I used to be doing. Scraping by is better than failing. Anyways, I don't think any amount of tutoring will save me from Snape's hatred for me."

Remus spoke up, with his usual bit of wisdom. "James, it's all about karma. I knew picking on Severus would come back to bite you in the ass."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

They soon left for their first classes and James discovered that the day's events were going to tick by as if every second were a year. Classes seemed to move at the speed of a snail, and he could hear his teachers' droning voices lull through his mind as he fell asleep in each and every class. But after what seemed like centuries of waiting, it seemed his rendezvous with Lily was coming upon him. He nervously paced the common room in front of the massive fireplace that stood ablaze with flames. His friends watched him humorlessly, their eyes following him as he moved.

"Prongsy, I really don't understand the hype. This chick seems no different than any other. I mean she is beautiful if you like the studious type but that is no new deal for you. I've never seen you act this way before, at least not with the ladies. The only time I've witnessed this is before Quidditch your first year."

"I don't know. Maybe it's the fact that she is older or so naïve or maybe a combination of the two. I don't understand it either." He rattled on for a few minutes about the amazing qualities of Lily before Remus interrupted him.

"Well, there's no time to debate this now. You are in fact two minutes late so you better get going tiger!"

James suddenly had a look of bewilderment as he dashed towards the portrait door. How had that happened? He felt as if the Marauders has perhaps purposely distracted him. He couldn't be late. What would Lily think? He dashed out the door without even a second glance at his friends or the schoolbooks he left behind. The other Marauders let out snickers at his hysteria. They looked at his schoolbooks and then at one another, hoping for James that it would lead to a little more closeness between the tutor and her student.

As James came to halt in front of the library entrance, he timidly peeked through the entrance to see a beautiful redhead seated at a table near the back of the library. Only a fixture overhead cast light upon her and it looked as if a spotlight had centered on her, knowing she was the most stunning object miles around. He continued to gaze at her as he smoothed his uniform out, ran his hand through his jet-black hair, and managed to catch his breath. He slowly walked in and gathered his courage to say something to Lily without stuttering.

"Hi Lily. I'm here and ready to be tutored."

She looked up and smiled before standing suddenly.

"That's wonderful James. I thought perhaps that you weren't coming because you are never late but I'm glad to see you did. James are you alright? You look a bit flushed."

James' eyes couldn't help but wander over her as she spoke. The hair that she usually kept high on her head in a tight bun was now let loose around her shoulders and was cascading down her back. The usual glasses that covered her brilliant eyes were off, hooked onto the pocket of her oxford shirt, and James could see the same eyes that he had dreamt about all week. And her uniform was… much less studious. He noticed almost immediately that her tie was not only loosened but completely gone. And her tightly button shirt had been unbuttoned three times. He doubted that she realized how much that last button revealed. He doubted that she even realized it was unbuttoned at all but he was not about to inform her of it. This was the most skin Lily had ever shown James in reality and he thanked the Lord for late night tutoring sessions.

"James? Did you hear me?"

"Oh, yes, sorry Lily. I ran here because I realized I was tardy."

"Oh well no harm done. Shall we get started?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Did you bring your homework?"

James nodded his head vigorously before realizing that he held nothing in his hands.

"Bollocks!" he cursed quietly.

"Pardon?"

"Nothing it just seems that I forgot my books."

"Oh that is no problem. I have one. We'll share."

She smiled and he gulped. She sat back down and patted the chair next to her, motioning for him to take a seat. He cautiously sat down, repeating his mantra over and over in his head. 'I'm here to study. I'm here to study. I'm here to study.' He had used the mantra many other times with many other girls but it always failed. And never before had he wanted it to fail more. She smiled sweetly to him as she pushed the textbook to a spot located conveniently between the two of them. She scooted her chair closer to his and put her hand on the back of his chair to support herself. Then she began speaking in that voice that made James close his eyes and remember the Lily in his dreams. It was quieter than her usual voice, huskier, more intimate. He knew she meant it in a strictly tutoring fashion but that didn't stop him from fantasizing about that voice being whispered into his ear at night.

As she continued to talk, she motioned with her hands, explaining the proper wrist movement. But James wasn't really paying attention; all he could think about was how her breasts bounced when she moved her hands enough. She looked back down at the book and James followed suit so as to give an impression of listening. As she pointed to the picture in the book, he caught a magnificent view of her ample cleavage. He wanted to get down and praise the Lord for her not seeing that third button was undone. He was in heaven. But the secret peeks at her bust and her silky voice in his ear were not helping him concentrate. On the contrary, all he could think of now was the giant erection he had under the table. He couldn't get over how easily this always seemed to happen when he was close to Lily. He suddenly realized how close Lily was to him. He abruptly felt her own thigh against his and it took all of his might to not lay a rough hand on her soft skin.

Lily however failed to notice his growing anxiety and frustration. He had begun to sweat and fidget in his seat. She continued to talk when he suddenly placed a hand softly on her own hand. She stopped talking abruptly and froze.

"Lily, I, I just want to tell you that I think you are… amazing."

For once, Lily had nothing to reply. She opened her mouth but all that came out were gasps of air. She couldn't think of anything to say in response. The only thing that came out was…

"I think you're amazing too James."

"Thank you Lily, but that's not exactly what I meant."

His hand was suddenly no longer on hers but pushed onto the wooden table. She stood suddenly and gathered her books as quickly as possible. Why was she so nervous all of a sudden? Had he said something wrong? What was going on?

"James, I think that uh, we, uh have done enough for today. Good work. I guess that I'll, I'll talk with you later."

Before James could sputter out another word she was gone, running out of the library towards the Gryffindor tower. A voice in his head suddenly said to him, 'Go after her! Stop her!'

And so he did.


	3. She's Always Running Away from Me

**Chapter 3**

He ran to the entrance of the library and scanned the hall. The lighting had dimmed and was much lower than its usual glow, but he had no trouble spotting the red hair that was quickly scurrying down the hallway. He yelled for her to wait but she just continued at a faster pace and turned the corner. James suddenly broke out into a sprint. He didn't know why. And he most certainly had no idea what he was going to say to her. He just felt like if he didn't catch up with her, she was going to slip through his fingers forever. She wouldn't tutor him anymore and she would avoid him the hallway. She wouldn't speak another word to him no matter how hard he tried. In short, all communication would be cut off from the first girl he had enjoyed being around for longer than a week. All because he blurted out stupid words and scared her witless. He cursed himself at his own stupidity and her own innocence and inability to handle any sort of uncomfortable situation.

As he caught up to her, he grabbed her arm and turned her towards him. He looked at her for a moment, not knowing what exactly to say. 'Careful James. The wrong words could cause more damage. Be very careful.' He cautioned himself as he looked at her heaving chest and brilliant hair. God, she was beautiful. But he couldn't help but notice that she wouldn't even hold his gaze. She refused to look him in the eye.

"Look James, I don't kn…"

"Lily, I'm sorry for that. It's just… it's just that I think you interpreted that in the wrong way."

"No, no, James. I'm pretty sure I got the message. You think I'm… Well forget what I am."

"No Lily. I didn't mean it like. Well actually I kind of did but it came out wrong. You see, I've kind of had a small, tiny, minute crush on you over the last few months and it was driving me insane not telling you. Sooo… I guess I'm telling you."

He fidgeted slightly as he waited for a response for the gorgeous green eyed girl, who simply stood there with her mouth hanging open slightly. Her mouth closed slowly and she finally spoke.

"I, uh, I don't really know what to say to that."

That's all she said. He was hoping for more but at least she hadn't turned and run down the hallway screaming. He smiled slightly and she just continued to stare at him oddly, as if he were a leper.

"Look Lily, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak you out. But it seems I've already done that. I just hope that you'll keep tutoring me because I desperately need your help. You've actually helped me a lot. It's because of you that I'm passing."

She looked at her feet and then spoke softly, too softly for James to hear.

"What's that? I didn't quite hear you."

"I said I'd still tutor you. I would never let this get in the way of our strictly tutor-student relationship."

"Well can't we have a friendship as well?" He smiled at her, with his pouty eyes, and for once she returned in with ease.

"Maybe. I'll think about it."

"That's all I ask."

There was an awkward moment of silence before Lily spoke.

"Well goodnight James."

"Goodnight Lily."

He smiled and she laughed slightly, making James' stomach flip.

"Um, you're going to need to let go of my arm."

He looked down and realized he had been gently holding onto her arm this entire time.

"Oh, of course. Sorry about that." He smiled sheepishly as he watched her walk away. He watched her swaying hips and was glad Lily couldn't see just what her hips did to him.

He turned and walked back to his own dormitories, taking a different route so as to allow no intrusion upon his thoughts. Was he happy about what just happened? He really shouldn't be but he couldn't help but feel giddy. He felt happier than he had ever felt after rising out of someone else's bed or coming out of a broom closet with tousled hair. And why? Because she was still going to tutor him? Or maybe because she would consider being his friend? Either way, he had no real reason to be jumping with joy. On the contrary, he should be slightly upset. For now she knew and this would only cause awkward moments and more concentration on the book at hand instead of James. He had in fact only embarrassed himself and had made no improvements on their "relationship". He had told her how he felt and been flat out rejected.

But James ignored these pessimistic thoughts and was almost skipping down the hallway, relishing in the idea of more awkward moments for him to be close to an uncomfortable Lily.

The next day he arose before the rest of his roommates and was the first to take a shower, whistling loudly every step of the way. He came out of the shower to see two very grumpy boys standing by the sink.

"Good morning Mooney! Padfoot! How are you two this fine morning?"

"Not as fine as you seem to be," barked Sirius.

"Oh and why not?"

"Maybe your incessant whistling, hmmm? Perhaps that caused us to be a little pissy!" Remus scowled at him.

"Yeah, Mooney's right. That whistling woke me up faster than any curse could have. I suggest you don't do that from now on unless you wish to suffer the consequences that my nickname can ensue."

James smiled as he walked to the sink and lathered his face. Both of the aggravated boys gave him a curious look and Remus was the first to question the odd behavior.

"So any morning wood today?"

James dropped his head and chuckled. "Yes, in fact there was. Hence the cold shower. It was the same dream and I loved every moment of it."

"I have never seen a wet dream make you so happy."

"Well that's not really the reason. I sort of told Lily last night that I liked her."

Remus and Sirius looked at James and then one another with shocked expressions playing across their faces.

Both spoke the same word, "What?"

"Well yeah, it kind of slipped out and she freaked out a little but I think it's fine now."

"What?"

"She's still going to tutor me and she's actually considering being my friend! Isn't that great? Everything seems to be going just swimmingly."

"I'm sorry but let me repeat once more was Remus and I have now asked twice. What?"

James turned to the two and the look they had on their faces was a mixture of shock and disgust.

James was now the one to ask, "What?"

"Did we hear you say you told her you liked her?"

"Yeah. What's the big deal? I've confronted plenty of girls about my feelings for them when my boyish charm flies right over their heads."

"Oh yes, there's no arguing there. But in the past I believe it was more along the lines of, 'You are so sexy right now. I would love to see you between my sheets.' Or perhaps, 'I can't hold it in any longer; I want you right here, right now.' It always been one of those cheesy lines that seem to work only for you."

"Yeah, I've always wondered how he does that," Remus said offhandedly.

Sirius turned to him. "I think it's in the way he says it. Something to do with the huskiness and whispering in the ear."

"Oh I always thought it was the hair ruffling thing that was happening simultaneously."

James couldn't believe they were talking about this as if he weren't right here. He was just about to tell them the secret when Sirius broke in.

"Hmmm, that could be it. Maybe the hand stroking the arm and the smile. Anyways back to the question at hand."

"Yes?"

"Mate, you didn't tell her you wanted to fuck her; you told her you liked her."

"Yeah so?"

"So? So? I don't believe any of us have spoken those words. At least not in sincerity."

"Well, it just came out and it felt right so maybe I actually mean it."

He continued to shave but turned when the silence spanned for almost a minute. He saw his two best friends with completely blank expressions. It was Sirius who finally broke the silence.

"Who are you and where is the man I knew to be James Potter?"

He finished shaving and slipped past them into their room, sighing loudly. He quickly dressed and headed towards the door.

"Hey aren't you going to answer us?"

He turned as he reached the door and scoffed quietly.

"Guys, I am the same guy I've always been. The same one that bewitched Snape's wand to smack him across the ass every minute. The same one that had both of the Chasey sisters at the same time. You really have no need to worry. I've just got a bigger project this time. One that's a bit more challenging."

He turned and ran down the stairs. He was out of the common room before he heard

Sirius yell, "Be sure not to bet too much on this one challenge mate!"

As James reached the Great Hall, he slowed to a walk and caught his breath. He tousled his hair out of habit and sauntered towards the Gryffindor table. He scanned it and landed upon the object of his affection. He suddenly stopped. Had he forgotten the way his stomach twitched when he saw her? Could he not remember how her voice made his squeak and stutter? Well he remembered it now, as all his previous behavior flooded back into him and he became a jumble of nerves. Why had he been able to speak clearly the night before? Maybe it was the rush of the moment or the thought of never having the chance to kiss her unless he stopped her from running away scared. Either way his walk became much less confident and he slid onto his seat, not even able to look at her. He buried himself in his eggs and try to act as if he wasn't there.

He cursed to himself. 'What had you expected moron? Did you expect to just walk over to her and flirt with her like you have done with every other girl? Did you expect to suddenly retrieve the charm that you had been missing for months whenever you're around her?' Well, in actuality, he had. And he could see now that wasn't going to happen. The truth of the matter was that Lily wasn't every other girl and he couldn't just act as if she was. No, this was going to take some getting used to. It was as if he was starting all over, learning the rules of the game as a first year. But the difference was that this game was special only to Lily Evans. He knew however that he would learn Lily's game and conquer it.

Thankfully, she had her face buried in a book and had not yet noticed him. He had to do something. He racked his brain for something to talk to her about. Quidditch?

No, she didn't care about Quidditch.

What about Snape? God, he is such a loser.

No! That was even worse than Quidditch. She cared for him like a sick puppy.

All he could come up with was tutoring and in reality, that's all there was. James had never talked to Lily about anything else. So to show his proper student-tutor relationship, he would ask her when they would meet next. He scooted closer until he was sitting directly across from her. He coughed quietly but she was obviously so engrossed in the book that she had no time to pay attention to background noise.

He coughed louder and still no response. He finally resorted to speaking to her. 'Oh God, I can only imagine what will come out of my mouth.'

"Excuse me, Lily?"

It cracked! His voice bloody cracked as if he were a scrawny second year! How humiliating! But she didn't seem to notice because she looked up and smiled nervously at him before looking down at her plate. She seemed as nervous as he did.

"Oh, hello James."

"Hi Lily. I was, uh, just wondering if we could meet again tomorrow night."

She gave him skeptical look and he quickly added, "In a strictly tutor-student way of course. I have a really hard review on Wednesday and I was wondering if we could go over it."

"Well, as long we are on a strictly professional level, I don't see why not."

"Um, that's great! But it will have to be outside because the review is over astronomy."

"Since when am I tutoring you in Astronomy? I thought you needed help strictly with Charms?"

"Well this new teacher decided to give me some extra homework and it involves the stars and practicing nonverbal spells." Now that he thought about it, he realized just how ridiculous the extra homework Snape had given him had sounded.

"Well alright I'll see you tomorrow night I suppose?

He smiled at the thought of being alone with her again and she blushed from the uncomfortable silence. He only wished she would give him another smile, like the one from the night before.

"Okay well shall we meet in the astronomy tower?"

He raised an eyebrow and smiled. Did she know what students usually did in the Astronomy tower at night? But by the look she was giving him, she had absolutely no clue.

"Er, I think that would be great. How about nine?"

"Wonderful. See you then."

Before he could speak another word to her, she had once again been engulfed by her book and could see nothing but the pages in front of her. He sighed and rose from the table to retrieve his books and get to class on time. Lily was obviously rubbing off on him or else he would have considered the idea of being to class early completely ludicrous.

The day seemed to actually go fairly quickly as his mind was filled on what he could do with Lily in the Astronomy tower tomorrow evening. He was too busy to notice a few girls throwing small notes towards him and letting out soft whispers, trying to gain his attention. He had gotten them before and before he would have read them but he now just swept them onto the floor. He only thought of Lily these days. He was even too distracted to hear them curse him quietly as he ignored their advances.

He crawled into bed that night after going to dinner and doing homework in a daze. He set his head onto his pillow with a smile and as soon as his eyes were shut, he fell into a deep sleep. Perhaps the smile was from the mere thought of Lily or perhaps it was from the dream he knew would occur during the wee hours of the morning. Either way he fell asleep quickly and soon awoke in his dreams.

Yet it wasn't the same dream as always. He was no longer located in the Gryffindor common room but in a place he certainly didn't visit for fun. He was seated at a long mahogany table and the only thing that was illuminating the book in front of him was the soft glow of candles along the walls. He leaned back in the uncomfortable chair and stretched his arms towards the ceiling in efforts to knock the tiredness out of his body. As he came back towards the table he ran a hand through his unruly black hair and glanced around him.

The library was empty and the only sound he heard was his own breathing going in and out and the soft ticking of the clock located on the wall in front of him. It read 1:40 am and prompted by the time, he pulled his head back to the book in front of him.

After slowly flipping through a few pages he sighed and realized this wasn't what he was looking for. It seemed as if he had been looking for something for days. He wasn't sure what but he was certain it could be found in this library. He was growing restless from the effort and tired from the amount of searching, the hours, the days of searching. He had to give up for the night, searching for the unknown. It wasn't something for school, no nothing that pointless. It was something inside of him that was missing. Why he had the urge to look in the library books he wasn't sure but that seemed to be the way dreams worked, doing random actions that somehow felt right.

He rose from his chair and walked slowly to the bookshelf located near the back of the library. He slouched forward and dragged his feet as he felt the urge for sleep through each of his limbs. He was placing the book back in its location on the fifth shelf up when he felt the hot breath against the nape of his neck. A hand grazed against his hip at the same moment and he let out a sigh of relief instead of surprise. He continued to feel the breath on his neck as the hand moved to his abdomen. It slowly went under his shirt and up his tight stomach. The hot gasps on his nape soon turned to soft kisses and small licks near his ear and he let out a soft groan of pleasure. James placed his hand on top of the small creamy fingers that searched his body beneath his shirt as she sucked gently on his earlobe. He turned slowly and was immediately looking into the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen.

His mouth openly slightly and he uttered only one word. "Lily."

She smiled softly and pushed him gently against the bookcase. Both hands moved across his chest and began to once again slowly unbutton his shirt. This seemed to happen in every dream, her constant torturing of him and his reaction this time was no different. His breathing was hitched as he felt the bulge within his pants grow. She had reached the last button on his oxford shirt as her hand grazed his hard rod. She let out a slight gasp and looked up at him, her eyes clouded with lust and her mouth curled into a mischievous smile.

"My, you're as excited as I am."

Lily reached for the buckle of his pants and the only word James could muster was "Y, ye, yeah."

She undid the buckle and the button behind it. Her fingers stroked his crotch before unzipping his zipper little by little. He closed his eyes as he felt his pants drop to the cold stone floor. His breathing was now labored coming out in short grasps as he felt Lily work his boxers over his member. He opened his eyes and just as she was about to place her small hand around him, he spoke.

"No, Lily, wait."

She looked at him, puzzled. He smiled and grasped her shoulders, turning her and pushing her roughly against the bookshelf. There he stood in his naked glory, his muscles glowing under a sheen of sweat reflected by the candle light. She looked him in the eye but her gaze was quickly gone as it traveled down his body, stopping on his huge member. She stared at it, licking her lips and he smiled sheepishly. Her hands reached for it once more but he seized them by the wrists and pinned them above her head.

As he looked at her, her eyes were large with anticipation and shock at his sudden courage. With one hand still grasping her wrists the other moved softly across the top of her skirt. His rough, calloused fingers moved slowly upwards grapping her breast over her sweater. She let out as a gasp as he moved his fingers gently across the underside of her breast and he moved closer, letting his body mold into hers. As his giant rod pushed against her skirt, his lips moved to her neck and began making slow kisses down to her collarbone. Still leaning against her body, he released her wrists and removed his other hand from her breast. She let out a sad whimper but he quickly silenced her.

"Do you promise to keep your hands off of me for a few moments?"

Her eyes were closed as she responded, "Only if you promise to put yours back on me."

"I promise," he whispered huskily.

His hands slowly fell to the hem of her sweater and he pulled it off over her head, her hair sweeping down the front of her. It was now his turn to torment her. He unfastened the buttons of her blouse slowly as he swept her into a deep kiss. As he reached the last one he pushed the shirt slowly off of her shoulders revealing her bare chest. James almost fainted at the sight. He knew it to be a dream- Lily would never walk around the library bra-less. He couldn't stop staring at the two milky mounds and before he could think, his mouth had seized one rosy nipple into his mouth. His tongue moved over it, sucking hard. His other hand moved to her other breast, tweaking her nipple and causing her to gasp. The noise echoed through the silent library and Lily's voice was fixed in James' mind. He grasped her breast hard as he felt her small cold fingers wrap around his cock. It was ecstasy. Her hand began moving in slowly movements, eased by the fluids already found there. His mouth moved to her other breast and his free hand roamed down beneath her skirt. He gasped and he heard her giggle softly.

"I figured wearing no panties would allow for better access."

He fell against her as his rasping breath fell on her neck and his hand combed through the hair between her legs. He was just about to explode from the quick movements of her hands and he was just about the feel the folds between her legs when…

When he awoke in a cold sweat, sitting up straight and his member still swollen. He stood up and was forced to take a cold shower in the middle of the night.


	4. Oh, Why The Hell Not?

**Chapter 4**

The next morning he found himself once again surrounded by tile and water pouring down upon his head. This was becoming old, showering two to three times a day. After going back to sleep last night the dream had occurred again. The water poured over his head as the image of her perk breasts under his hands came back into his head. The sound of her gasps of pleasures was burned into his skull, he would remember it forever. But the idea that was so absolutely frustrating was that how could even know if that was how she really was. It wasn't reality. He didn't know if she was really so fiery in real life or if she moaned in his ear like she had done in his dreams. He didn't even know if he would ever hear her gasps in reality or actually have his mouth on her body. He had never even kissed her and there was no way to be sure he ever would. It was all a dream and that realization was tormenting him.

Just as frustrating was how the dreams were becoming more elaborate, more creative, and more erotic. Before the dreams had never displayed Lily so openly, Lily's breast and lower region had eluded him and now he felt as if he knew the feel of her soft skin and the mound beneath her skirt. How they had suddenly become so much more visual was beyond him but all he knew was that this dream made him even harder, if that was even possible. And at this moment, the cold shower was doing nothing. The pressure inside him was more than he could ever imagine. He looked down and saw that his morning wood at barely decreased in side and he realized the shower would do nothing.

A few minutes later, he strolled out into his bedroom, the three Marauders sitting up in their beds giving him a very odd look, as if he were some unknown animal on display at the zoo.

"What?"

They stared at him for a moment before he asked them again. Sirius, the most daring, was the first to speak. "Were you doing what we think you were doing in the shower?"

James suddenly looked away and fumbled with his trunk. "What are you talking about?" he asked innocently.

"Were you jerking off in the shower? The same shower we all use?"

When James didn't respond they all emitted sounds of disgust or surprise.

James stood up quickly, throwing his arms in the air. "I'm sorry alright. It's just that this bloody dream is driving me mad! I'm thinking about her all the time and if only you had seen her last night in this fantasy… Well, you would be doing the same!"

They all looked at him for a moment stunned at his sudden outburst. Remus stood walking to the bathroom.

"Where are you going?"

"Well Prongs if this is going to happen, I'd at least like a clean shower before getting in."

He muttered a cleaning charm before coming back into the round room. "Prongs, I'm surprised to say the least. Since when have you ever had to wank off? We always made fun of those pathetic guys who couldn't get enough action to satisfy their urges. I mean it's just such a waste and especially coming from you. You get enough play to satisfy Padfoot."

Sirius smirked before adding, "Doubtful, very doubtful."

"Yeah but lately Lily is all I want and I doubt I will be tapping that any time soon."

"Prongs, I think you need a side project so as to… rid you of some of this frustration."

"Padfoot thanks, but no thanks. I would prefer to work this out on my own."

"Whatever mate, your choice I suppose."

James muttered a few goodbyes before strolling down to breakfast. The last thing he needed at the moment was the opinions of the other Marauders, who thought love could be found on any drunken night with any loose girl in any broom closet. Suddenly he halted in the middle of the empty corridor. Love? Since when was that an aspect he was considering? The idea had come into his head so easily he hadn't even noticed it. He quickly dismissed the idea of being in love instead for the thought of some eggs and soldiers. He quickened his pace as his stomach growled.

The day passed quickly, him going from class to class. His mind on nothing but you know who. Teachers asked him questions only to be brushed off and he thought perhaps he had lost some points for Gryffindor along the way but he couldn't really remember.

He seemed to stroll through the halls with his head deep in thought instead of on the women passing him in the hallways, winking and giving him the once over. The night was finally falling as he got ready to leave. His hair was especially messy this evening from his nervous hands racking through them time and time again. He grabbed his book and wand and headed for the astronomy tower so as to shoo out anyone there for reasons other than studying. The only one that would be ruining Lily's innocence would be him, not something she chanced to walk in on in the late hours. He arrived at the tower and much to his surprise found no one else in the circular room.

He spanned the room and saw the walls to be cold stone and covered by old tapestries. The walls were supporting old couches in three places, almost encouraging fornication. James always laughed at Dumbledore's supposed innocence, knowing full well he knew exactly what happened up here. The nostalgia drew him back to an especially steamy night in his fourth year when he had slipped up here with a rakish seventh year Ravenclaw after Halloween. At the time that was the best night of his life and he remembered recalling the story to Padfoot and Mooney the next day over breakfast, detailing how he had his way with her. He rubbed the back of his head as he recalled that it was in fact her that had had her way with him, as he had done whatever she had asked. But that was not now. Now was his time with Lily, and no thought of an easy Ravenclaw would ruin his night with her. He let his mind drift back to the room and saw the large Persian rug he had seen countless times before but refused to sit on. The couches were always more his style. Who knew what was on that thing. But the most alluring quality was the wide entranceway straight ahead of the door, which led to a balcony that gave one of the most incredible views of the spanning Hogwarts campus. And tonight it looked more amazing then usual. The sky was clear and there was a light breeze that added just the right amount of chill to a warm evening.

He scanned the land, falling upon familiar sights and laughing as he replayed memories he had had with the Marauders all across these familiar hills and fields. He was recalling a particularly funny event in which Peter had been captured by one of the giant squid's tentacles and was being dunked repeatedly in and out of the lake. He remembered the frantic looks on everyone's face while he and the other marauders laughed so hard they had fallen down. Of course, he was rescued by one of the professors and had escaped perfectly fine, except with wet shorts.

He was thinking of the look on Wormtail's face when he was tapped on the shoulder. He turned quickly to see Lily standing barely an inch away from him. They stood there for a moment before she stepped back nervously and announced that she was ready to study. He smiled and spoke the same words.

"Well I talked to Professor Snape about your review and he told me what you are going to be doing tomorrow so I planned some simple exercises for us to do."

"That, uh, that sounds great."

"Okay, well first we shall do this."

She began to drill off explanations of the exercises but he was again much too busy to listen. All he could look at once how the night breeze had excited her nipples to points that protruded through her oxford shirt. He could smell her hair on the air and her hair looked crimson in this light. He was even lucky enough for a strong breeze to come along a blow her skirt up slightly and show some of the beautiful skin on the same thigh he had wanted so desperately to touch the night before.

"So then, why don't we start?"

"Um, yeah, could you go over that once more?"

She sighed and repeated herself and this time James actually listened and was only once distracted by the fullness of her lips. And so they began the drills and he slowly got better at the charms. After about an hour of a few different exercises, he stopped and sat on the wall that made the stone balcony.

"Do you mind if we rest for a moment? I am plump tired."

"Sure but not for too long."

He smiled and patted the seat next to him just as she had done the night before. She cautiously sat next to him in a much too rigid position. He glanced her over and laughed inside at her own innocence. But apparently a grin had broke to the surface.

"May I ask what exactly you are smiling at?"

"Isn't it obvious? You of course."

She rose from her seat and stood in front of him. She looked somewhat frustrated.

"Yes? Well what is so funny about me?"

"Nothing. You are rather perfect in fact."

The strong glance she had held moments before fell to her feet at the compliment.

"James, I thought we were strictly student-tutor here."

"We are. I'm just being honest. You need to learn to take a compliment."

She scowled, sat down beside him once again, and said a quick thank you. It made him suddenly think about his own behavior. He suddenly felt so comfortable. Maybe it was because she was so on edge at his presence. She was anxious around him for once, instead of the other way around. He was more accustomed to this behavior, girls acting nervous around him. Or maybe it was just the feeling in the air. Who knew? But he had stuttered all evening before and for once what came out of his mouth was what he really meant. He liked that part especially.

"So how bout we work on the friendship part we had discussed?"

"What exactly does that involve?"

"Well, you do have friends. You should know."

"Yeah I have friends. But not any friends that are…"

"As handsome as me?"

He spoke the words so quickly that she responded saying, "Exactly."

He looked at her amused as she realized what she had said. She covered her mouth in shock and quickly blurted out words.

"No I mean, I don't have any friends that are men. But please don't take offense. I don't mean you aren't handsome. In fact, I find you very handsome."

She covered her mouth quickly again so as to stop the words from spilling out of her mouth. She looked at her feet and even in the dark light, James could see her blushing furiously. He was grinning like a fool.

"I think you are handsome too, in a feminine way of course. Lily, I think you're beautiful."

He squeezed his eyes shut, just waiting for the slap across the face. But when it didn't come, he opened his eyes slowly and saw her smiling. She was blushing even more and she was burning holes in her mary janes from looking at them so hard.

"James you shouldn't say such things to your tutor."

"But I can say such things to a friend, can't I?"

She furrowed her brow in concentration. She looked up at him and his gaze was stuck to her brilliant eyes. She was about to say something studious, he knew it.

"Actually a friend is defined as a strictly platonic relat…"

Her words were cut off as James placed a hand gently on her neck and drew her in for a kiss. As his lips touched her, he tasted what he had dreamt about for weeks. It tasted like peaches and sugar and he decided at that moment that it was the best flavor he had ever come across. He sucked on her bottom lip as he closed his eyes, being sure to remember every feeling he was having at the moment. His thumb gently stroked the skin of her cheek as his tongue slowly outlined her lips. He repeated this for a second more before pulling back to see a very dazed Lily.

"Better than I could ever imagine," he whispered.

As he opened his eyes he saw that Lily had still not opened hers and she slowly licked her lips, the same spot his had been only moments before. His forehead still touched hers as she slowly opened her eyes. She looked at him strangely and he spoke softly.

"I'm sorry Lily. That was completely uncalled for. I took advantage of…"

But the sentence never ended as she once again planted her lips on his and kissed him deeper than before. Her hand came up to rest on the nape of his neck and she stroked the soft hairs there, making him moan slightly. He realized suddenly that never had something so innocent ever turned him on more. He licked her lips carefully before parting them to roam her mouth. He gently prodded her tongue and she followed suit. He felt the soft hollows of her cheeks and his other hand came to rest on her lower thigh. He pulled away, allowing them both to catch their breath. The only thing he concentrated on was the quiet raggedness of their breathing, his eyes still shut tightly. He wanted to brand these memories into his brain. He felt her hand move slowly from his neck to his shoulder and down his arm to rest lightly on his hand. He opened his eyes to see Lily staring at him in a way he had never seen. Her lips were swollen from the long kiss and her arm was shaking slightly, being the only thing to support her body.

"Wow."

He laughed softly. "Just what I was thinking."

"I, uh, I…"

"Yes?" He grinned at her lack of words. He was sure she enjoyed it as much as he did.

"I, er, think that was a mistake."

Suddenly the flutes and harps in his head came to a drastic halt and he did a double take making sure he had heard her correctly. The look of shock on his face was blatantly obvious.

"Wh, what? Excuse me?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry James but that, just then, shouldn't have happened."

"Why the hell not?"

He was getting angry now. The frustration he had been feeling for months now seemed to have finally found an outlet and now Lily was blocking him like never before. Why wouldn't she just look inside of herself and realize she loved it. Bloody hell, he loved it and he had never met a girl who hadn't enjoyed a snog with James Potter. He needed this damnit! He needed it! How dare she let him kiss her and then tell him it was a mistake.

But on the outside he managed to hide the emotion.

"Lily, admit you liked it. You kissed me the second time!"

"Me liking it has nothing to do with it."

"What? That has everything to do with it! What else matters?"

He was yelling now, and somewhere in between the kiss and the heated words he had stood and begun waving his hands on the romantic balcony. She still sat on the stone wall, calm and collected, the usual Lily exterior. And her reaction only made him more furious.

"James, I can't really explain it. But this wasn't supposed to happen. There are other things to consider like…"

"Like what? What the hell is there besides the fact that we have chemistry. I know you felt it. Don't lie to me Lily!"

"So maybe there is chemistry but I'm your tutor and you are my student so it just shouldn't happen. So we'll leave it at that. Goodnight James."

"Whoa, you can't just leave like that without explaining yourself. No fucking way Evans!"

He grabbed her arm roughly and pulled her towards him. He leaned in and planted a kiss on her. He quickly deepened it, sliding his tongue into her mouth as he felt all of his frustration and anger go into the kiss. His hands slid down to roughly grabbed her butt, pulling her against him.

She pulled away first, no longer having a dazed look on her face. For once he saw anger displayed across her beautiful features.

"No James, this just isn't going to happen. No matter how good of a kisser you are."

He had a look of shock on his face for only a second, as it quickly changed to fury. She pulled away from him and walked briskly to the door. As the door shut, he could hear her footsteps quicken into a run. She was always running away from him.

He turned around abruptly and placed his hands on the stone wall. His grip was like iron as he let out a roar of anger, which could likely be heard across the entire campus. He turned and walked out the door, storming towards the Gryffindor common room. As he entered the room his three best mates were crowded around the fireplace.

"Ah Prongs, how was it? We saw Lily come back, she seemed more than a little flustered. What exactly happened?"

"Oh Mooney, I really doubt much happened considering what he's like around her. No woman would be attracted to that."

"Will you all shut up! I don't want to talk about it. I'm going to bed and not thinking about it ever again."

He began ascending the staircase as Sirius continued to speak.

"Oh Prongs, I'm sure the moment you enter that room you'll have no problem forgetting about little Lily. I have a feeling your night will soon drastically improve."

James only vaguely heard him and ignored the rest. He waved his hand behind him and stormed up the stairs to his bedroom. Mooney turned to Sirius, who was gazing up the stairs with a mischievous, knowing smirk.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, doesn't involve any of us. Let's just say we'll be sleeping in the common room tonight."

"Sirius what did you bloody do this time?"

He grinned and just patted Remus. "No worries mate. Let's get back to this homework."

Remus gave him a puzzled look before shaking his head and turning back to the scroll they were trying to decipher.

James reached the doorknob to the room and groaned. He turned it slightly and heard a noise coming from within his room. He immediately pulled his wand out, ready to cast a spell on any Slytherin that dare enter his room. He suddenly turned the doorknob and threw the door open to reveal something he was not expecting in the least.

There sprawled across his bed was a girl, no, correction, a woman. He recognized her as a sixth year Hufflepuff but couldn't recall her name. She had olive skin and black hair falling in waves just above her round breasts. Her body was thin and toned but her most alluring feature by far was her large brown doe eyes surrounded with dark, long lashes. And most shocking, she lay on his bed in nothing but her skivvies. James mouth opened as he struggled to find words. But it was she that spoke first.

"Hello James. I'm not sure you remember my name. It's Olivia. We actually met two years ago and I believe we had some kind of… connection one night after Hogsmeade. I was hoping you would remember."

He continued to stare at her blankly.

"But by the expression on your face I don't think you do. I'm not surprised really considering how many conquests you've had."

She stated this rather matter-of-factly and only then had James collected himself enough to speak.

"Um, I'm sorry I'm a little shocked at the moment."

"Oh? Why is that? Have you never seen a woman only in her lingerie thrown across your bed?"

She rose from his bed and began casually walking towards him. He stood his ground, scanning over her long, tan body. Her full breasts were held by a black bra, its cups covered only in lace, allowing for little coverage. A matching pair of panties covered her nether regions. James took his eyes off of her body and looked her in the eye.

"Of course I have. It's just I've usually had to seduce them first."

She smiled and placed a finger under his chin. She traced his jaw and slowly moved it down to his shoulder. She held onto his muscular body as she moved backwards towards the bed. He followed slowly.

"So what exactly are you doing here?" He stopped moving and stood planted to the ground.

She slowly let go of his shoulder moving her hand to his waist.

"Sirius told me about your predicament."

"What predicament?"

"The one you have with some seventh year. He said you just could not get your hands on her to save your life. He didn't know if you had the skills to handle the girl but he did know that she was tormenting you, in more ways than one. He asked me for a favor."

"And what is the favor?"

"Well I don't really consider it a favor since I would enjoy it just as much as you but if you must know he wanted me to… well… hand myself to you. He said you needed the exercise."

James scoffed and roughly took her hand off his waist. She smirked at his struggle.

"Has it been awhile James?"

"Not that long."

"So you don't need the exercise then?"

She placed her thin fingers along the bottom hem of his shirt, lifting it over his head.

"I get enough exercise with Quidditch."

"Mm, I can see that."

Her words suddenly reminded James of the dream he had with Lily and how she had also commented on his Quidditch sculpted body. Somehow this wasn't the same. Her hands spanned across his body and she lifted off of her toes to reach his mouth. Her lips were only inches from his as she came closer to lock him in a kiss. Just as their lips were about to touch, he turned his head, her kiss landing on his jaw. She grinned slightly and let out a small chuckle.

"I don't remember you being this difficult after Hogsmeade."

"Yeah well, I'm not quite as horny and immature as I was then."

"Well that's a shame. I liked your spunk."

She grabbed his chin roughly, pulling it towards her. They were face to face. She held his chin tightly as she raised herself to kiss him. As soon as James felt the contact his rigid body loosened up and he thought, "Oh why the hell not?"


	5. I Immediately Regret This Decision

**Chapter 5**

Gasps. They were the only things ringing through James' ears at the moment. Sweat was dripping down his forehead as he opened his eyes. There on top of him was Olivia, in her amazingly toned birthday suit, riding back and forth on top of him. She smiled down at him but he was unable to return the false gesture. Her moans were all he could hear… and it surprisingly irritated him.

How had this happened? He didn't want this. He wanted Lily more than anything and the thought of her made him groan. But while his mind was firmly against his current activities, his lower half seemed to have a completely different opinion. Because, despite the nagging feeling inside of him, telling him this wasn't right, he found himself flipping Olivia onto her back and pumping hard inside of her. He didn't care if he was hurting her because it was no longer sexual to him; he just needed to let out some steam. He wasn't getting the same sort of pleasure as Olivia was; with each fast and hard stroke he felt the thought of Lily and the unwanted kiss fade away into the back of his mind. His hips seemed to have a mind of their own as he moved back and forth, forming a consistent rhythm. She giggled at the sudden change of position and pulled him down hard, tangling her tongue in his. He closed his eyes, trying to imagine he was somewhere else with someone completely different. And when he opened his eyes again he did see someone else.

There underneath him was Lily, a goddess smiling up at him. He suddenly stopped his rough gyrations and whispered her name.

"Lily."

"Whatever you want to call me baby."

This puzzled him; it seemed like a very unusual response. Why would she say that? But he quickly swatted the thought away as he gazed over her immaculate body. Creamy skin from head to toe marked occasionally with a freckle or two. A slim waist, which gradually curved into her beautiful, round breasts. And her enormous, green eyes looking up at him, contrasted by her red hair, which was masterfully splayed across his pillow. He had never seen anything so gorgeous in his entire life; her breasts were just as he imagined them. He voiced this thought as he took her right nipple into his mouth.

"You're just as beautiful as I imagined you to be Lily."

"Stop talking James and finish me."

Nothing would please him more. He had forgotten he was still inside her and the idea of bringing her pleasure made him only harder. But he couldn't possibly be rough with her; she was so delicate that he must be careful. He gently caressed her breast as his mouth left her nipple, trailing sweet kisses down her stomach.

"Potter, please…"

"Be patient love."

He lowered himself between her legs and began nipping and kissing her nub. He licked it, twirling his tongue in a circular fashion until she was gasping for air. His fingers found her entrance and he slowly inserted two, then three. The moans that escaped her lips were like harps and violins to his ears, and he was in heaven indeed. Her head rose off the bed as she yanked him up towards her.

"Enough of that… please… just…"

"Alright, Lily, alright."

He smiled down at her as he slid into her, watching her moan as she stared him straight in the eye. He pushed all the way in to the hilt, waiting for only a moment before slowly withdrawing. Slowly his pace quickened as he nipped at her neck. She whimpered with pleasure as he moved to the valley between her breasts.

"James, I'm coming."

He quickened his pace as he intertwined her fingers in his. He let out a moan as he realized how close he was to explosion.

"I, I love you Lily." He moaned as the words fell from his lips and they both came in unison. He fell on top of her, nestling his head in the crook of her neck, breathing in the aromatic scent of her luscious hair.

"Oh goodness!"

He snapped up as he heard the voice coming from behind them at the door. He turned to see Lily standing at the door, in utter shock at his current state. He whipped back to look at the body he was laying atop and once again saw Olivia. He gasped in shock, wondering how he had sunken so much into his own fantasies. He scrambled off of her, shaking his head at her smirking face.

He pulled the sheet around him and turned to the flabbergasted Lily. At his sudden movement, she finally seemed to regain her senses and turned around quickly, fumbling with the door.

"I, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to intrude. I ju… just wanted to talk to you about earlier. But you seem very, very busy so, so I'll leave. Sorry!"

And with that she was rushing down the spiral staircase to the Gryffindor common room.

"Lily! Wait! Please!"

Before he knew what he was doing, he was rushing down to the common room, his white sheet wrapped haphazardly around his waist. He came to the bottom of the stairs to see almost all of Gryffindor staring at him. Sirius rushed up to him, eyes wide with surprise.

"Mate, I'm so sorry. I didn't even see her going towards the staircase. I would have stopped her but…"

"Forget it, where'd she go?"

'I'm not sure. She rushed out of the common room. But I don't think you find her. She could be anywhere."

Sirius hadn't even finished talking before James was rushing towards the portrait. He climbed out of it and looked down the long corridor. He paused and realized how foolish he must look. It was late but there were still a few people walking down the hallway, on the way to their own dormitory. Sirius was right; he had no idea where she could be. He wish he knew her well enough to know where she would go in a time like this, but unfortunately he didn't. He had been too busy trying to get in her pants to actually get to know her. He was overwhelmed by the sadness and helplessness that seemed to rise up inside of him. He turned around, heading slowly back into the dormitory. He began walking back to his room, ignoring the many people offering him condolences. Apparently, everyone knew about his thing for Lily; apparently he hadn't hidden it as well as he had hoped. But as everyone patted him on the back, muttering fruitless pep talks, he found himself wishing he wasn't quite so popular. These people didn't know anything about him.

"Oh just bugger off all of you! Leave me bloody alone!" He reached the bottom of the stairs, climbing them slowly, as the common room went silent. He threw open his door to see Olivia gathering up her clothes. She looked at him for only a moment before blushing, picking up her things even faster, and rushing to the door. Upon reaching the door, she stopped and turned back to James, who remained standing gravely in the middle of the room.

"James, I'm, I'm sorry. About all of it. I didn't want this to happen."

"Yeah, I know." He didn't even turn around as she opened the door and exited silently. He remained standing there for what seemed like hours, his mind playing over and over again what Lily must have seen.

She had walked in on James visibly naked, on top of a girl also visibly naked, engaged in an unmistakable act. God knew what was running through her mind!

He finally broke from the trance that seemed to have cemented him to the wooden planks beneath him for over an hour. He slowly walked forward and fell face forward onto his bed, planning on simply drifting off into a slumber where he could forget the events of the day. To think that only a few hours before he had kissed Lily and even received a kiss in return! And since then he had shagged another and had to deal with pretty heavy consequences. He closed his eyes, attempting to force the thoughts out of his mind. But instead of his mind clearing with the arrival of sleep, a heady scent clouded his head. It was the scent of that girl and the scent of sex. A smell he so usually enjoyed relishing in now almost made him vomit. He had to breath through his mouth as he rose off of the bed and strip the sheets off. He was left with a ratty Hogwarts mattress, stained with God knew what. But this did not inhibit him as he fell into bed and lay on his back, after drawing the curtains around him. He stared up at the red velvet cover canopy above him; the color reminded him of certain someone's hair. It was even remotely similar in shade or hue but the mere sight of red made him think of Lily.

He rubbed his hands along his face, pulling them through his hair, making it even more chaotic. He rubbed his eyes as he heard the other three Marauders enter the room, their attempts at being quiet completely in vain. They whispered loudly as they gathered themselves for bed.

"Is he asleep?"

"I don't know mate, but I don't think it's such a good idea to be messing with him right now."

"Think he's okay?"

"Uh, my guess is no."

He turned to his side, choosing to ignore their fervent words and once again attempt sleep. He reached out and ran his finger along the red velvet curtains.

'What the hell have I done?'

He awoke in the morning from a sliver of light shining in through his curtains, shining directly into his eyes. He opened them suddenly and rolled over with a groan. His hand dragged along the mattress, feeling something that certainly weren't his cotton sheets. He had forgotten, but only for a moment, the events of the evening before. Or maybe he had just successfully blocked it out for a moment. But the memories rushed back to him as he threw open the curtains angrily and stared down the sheets that had been underneath him and that girl last night. He didn't even touch them as he set his wand upon them, cleaning them thoroughly. Why had he not just done that last night? Maybe there are had been something symbolic about the stripping of his bed, like the stripping of himself. Maybe it showed how vulnerable and naked he was left in the wake of his encounter with Lily. Or maybe he had just been too tired. Yeah, that was probably it. He slumped toward the bathroom, seeing all of his roommates still deep in slumber. He sent each one a glare as a wave of anger passed over him. How come they got to sleep so well? How come he was the only one with issues? He already knew today was going to be an awful and extremely long day, and knew he would deal with everything by being unnecessarily irritated with everyone he knew.

'Oh well, they'll just have to deal with it. If I'm miserable why shouldn't everyone else be too?'

That seemed like reasonable thinking and he continued to mutter under his breath. Jumping into the shower, he remembered he had had no lusty dreams of Lily last night. All he could remember from his awful night of sleep was Lily crying. That was a cheerful thought, he remarked to himself, instead of dreaming about her touching herself he dreamed of her crying. As he got out, the steam billowed around him and he wiped away the mirror to take a look at himself. He had teeth marks on his shoulder. How dare she leave her mark on him. He gripped the sink tightly as he looked himself in the eye. What the hell was going on?

How was he this torn up? Seriously, what had come over him? A stupid fucking girl was doing this? He almost laughed out loud at how ridiculous it sounded. He needed perspective. This was just a girl, one measly girl who he really wasn't even that into. He barely knew her. The attraction was completely physical and the only reason she had remained his attraction for so long was the sheer challenge she presented. Geez, what was the big deal anyways about her? Nothing. Nothing! She was just another girl.

But why had he reacted the way he did last night? If another girl had entered he wouldn't have been surprised if he had found the balls to give her a sexy smirk and ask her if she wished to join them. And why had he gotten so caught up in the act of it to think that the girl had been Lily? He had made love to Lily, not fucked some girl. It had been different when he thought it was the beautiful redhead with him.

He pushed these thoughts away though, into the deep recesses of his mind as he put a dime size amount of gel through his hair. He threw on his uniform quickly, leaving his dormitory and the common room in a huff.

He was still adjusting his tie as he entered the Great Hall, moving toward the Gryffindor table. Deep in his own morbid thoughts, he failed to notice anyone including the Gryffindors at the table already that surely had been in the common room last night during the scene he made. He was stopped however by a soft hand settling upon his forearm.

He turned to see Lily holding his arm. He looked down at her hand and she quickly pulled it back.

"James? I was wondering if I could talk with you for a moment."

James was completely stunned. She was talking to him after what she had walked in on last night? His heart was his throat as he tried to make words form. The best he could do was a simple nod.

She turned and he followed her outside the doors of the Great Hall. Once again he failed to notice the stares of the Gryffindor table following them out of the room, this time from shock. She pulled him to a small classroom down the corridor and they entered the room without speaking a word. She still didn't speak to him as he closed the door and fell against it softly.

He looked at her and she seemed nervous. Why was she nervous? And why did she look so beautiful even when she was staring at her feet and squirming so much? If anyone should be uncomfortable it should be him. He was just about to speak; what exactly he was going to say he didn't know. Maybe an apology or a joke to break the ice, just something to stop this incredible silence that seemed to be carrying on forever. He was just about to say a few words when she looked him suddenly in the eye and spoke instead, beating him to it.

"James, I have a proposition for you."


	6. You Can't Be Serious?

**Hey everyone! Thanks for the reviews, I certainly like getting those. So wow I churned out this chapter fast right? I don't know, the words were just flowing out of me. Ha, but anyways, I hope you guys like it. **

**Just giving fair warning that you might not understand James' ranting and ravings in the beginning till the end. Give it a chance though.**

**Oh and BTW I read all over my first chapters and fixed most of the grammatical mistakes. Some were blatantly obvious so I apologize for those. And sorry for the Harry reference at the beginning of the last chapter. If there are other crazy obvious errors in this chapter. Please let me know. Okay well enjoy!**

**Chapter 6**

If anyone were looking at James at the moment, they certainly would have thought him a strange sight. There he sat in Defense Against the Dark Arts, slumped forward in his seat and gnawing quite purposefully on his quill with a look of complete bafflement spread across his face. He was deep in thought, oblivious to Professor Dumbledore's words of wisdom involving hags. He had bigger fish to fry, or perhaps bigger forces of evil to deal with. His frown momentarily lifted into a grin at his own hilarity. That was certainly what Lily Evans was becoming, a dark art in his life. She was completely unpredictable and completely mental, a force to be reckoned with. But now was no time for jokes, he thought seriously, now is a time for a logical thought process. He furrowed his brow once more, losing himself in the words Lily had said to him only moments earlier.

He mentally scoffed. It certainly was a proposition! One so preposterous, so insulting! Yet… at the same time so enticing. The idea made him want to laugh, and at the same time crawl into bed and weep for hours on end. It was a compliment to receive such a proposition, yet so offensive when he thought of its purpose. It made him stare in awe at her own scheming and plotting, but at the same time he felt a little bit of the Lily he liked so much disappear. So many emotions were battling within him: jealousy and possessiveness versus lust and pride. The list just went on and on.

And the puzzle it weaved in his own head made him dizzy. So Lily had a thing for some mystery man, huh? A man that most certainly wasn't himself. He automatically hated him, unable to imagine that he could be better looking or more charming than James. Not to mention more sexually experienced. It was too much to imagine pure, sweet Lily Evans lusting after someone so intently as to cause her to devise such a completely mischievous and wicked plan. And it certainly added a new dimension to Lily to imagine that she had hopes of seducing someone as if he were simply another drop in the bucket. There was a sudden level of tawdriness to her James could have never imagined. He wished he could only tell Lily how stupid she was being; he wished she could just see _him_, the perfect guy for her, standing there right under her nose. He was practically waving his arms in front of her, screaming, "Look at me! Look over here!"

Her choice in men made him want to vomit and cry and laugh and shake her and write her off forever, all at the same time. He couldn't help but give up a little hope on her for being so oblivious to his own attempts. How could she be so intelligent yet so senseless? Yet he wanted desperately to please her, to do something for her. He wanted her to be happy and get what she wanted. And at the time he just wanted to be near her, spend time with her, just be completely enveloped by her presence. Lily's plan would definitely involve just those things.

Of course… the proposition certainly had its perks, he couldn't deny that. There were definite advantages to taking part in such a deal; his mind reeled at the possibilities. Yet he felt dirty at the mere thought of it.

Could he allow himself to be so blatantly used and still have some self-respect left over? He wasn't really certain it was possible. He might be sacrificing all his dignity just for the hope that she would finally notice him and see how perfect they were together. Was Lily worth such a sacrifice? But there was also the question of how much dignity he had at the moment; he didn't receive the reputation he had for being _dignified_. Of course he had had most of the women at Hogwarts and perhaps at times his standards hadn't been as high as they should have been, but this was different. Firstly he would certainly be sober, and he and Lily both knew he would be getting used. Yet he was so honored and proud that she had come to him. He'd like to think she hadn't just chosen any bloke off the street, no, he knew she had been selective. She had studied him for Christ's sake! And he wanted to prove himself to her; his sexual prowess was yet another thing that might catch her attention, something that certainly would be more effective than his stuttering and stumbling.

And to think that she had been planning this all along. That's what really got him, realizing that she had been twelve steps ahead of him the entire time! She really was extremely clever; perhaps she would have made a good Marauder if only she wasn't so shy and studious and perfect. It only raised her higher on the pedestal he had so long ago put her on. But the plan was despicable, even to him. It showed a complete lack of regard for another's emotions and insensitivity that startled James. She obviously didn't blatantly using him. Did she really think she could do this without developing any sort of attachment or feelings for him along the way? He wasn't being arrogant when he thought it'd be hard not to. This was a big deal for girls; he knew from experience.

And that was what made it so enticing. The thought of showing Lily his ways and forming that sort of bond with her made him aroused just thinking about it. It stirred something inside of him like excitement and endearment, something he couldn't put a name to. But what if she really was able to be that insensitive and distant throughout this whole project? What if he agreed to this, hoping for her to suddenly see her feelings for him, and in the end she walked away? What if she walked away into some other guy's bed and she hadn't thought about him in the least? Well he knew what would happen, he would have his heart handed to him in pieces, and the idea of such a thing was uncomfortably foreign. It was him who broke the hearts; he was the heart breaker. Not the other way around.

He recalled the conversation he had had with her minutes before.

"_James, I have a proposition for you."_

Those words keep rolling through his head. It was unlike any proposition asked of him before. It required much more of him than any other proposition too.

"_James, I have a proposition for you."_

_She looked at him for a moment, as if she was expecting him to understand what she meant. He stared at her with a look of complete bewilderment. He had no idea what was going. He couldn't even remember how he had ended up in this classroom. _

"_Obviously you have no idea what I'm talking about… So I guess I'll just start from the beginning and try to explain myself."_

_He continued to look at her as she paced back and forth between the two stone walls of the classroom. She seemed to be searching for the right words as she twiddled her fingers. She finally stopped and looked at him, leaning against a desk directly in front of him. _

"_Do you remember when I started tutoring you a few months ago?"_

_He looked at her and was just about to speak when she cut him off._

"_Of course you do. You may stink at Charms but you're no cretin. Anyhow, I doubt you really understood how I came to be your tutor… Well, the fact is, is that I chose you."_

_James frowned and thought back to the degrading moment when he was forced to ask Professor Snape for help. He had muttered the words to him after class one day and seen the smirk spread across that git's face. He had heard what James had said perfectly but he politely asked him to repeat himself and speak up a bit. James had tried to give him his strongest glare as he spoke the words clearly. James could remember the satisfaction in his voice as Snape said he could arrange something. _

_It had only taken another day or two before Kieran held him back at the end of class and told him that he had found an appropriate tutor for him. A seventh year named Lily. Lily Evans. He muttered his thanks, received some information from him about their first meeting, and rushed out of the room. He didn't really see how Lily could have chosen him though._

"_You see, one day Professor Snape announced that you needed a tutor to all of his classes, including my seventh year Charms class. And, well, I was eager to help."_

_He smiled a bit at the idea of Lily wanting to eagerly help him. But then his smile soon disappeared as he thought about Kieran announcing to all of his students that James Potter needed a tutor. The James Potter needed help in class for once. That guy just couldn't help making little stabs at him whenever he could. What a jerk!_

"_I had actually been watching you for a few weeks at that time." _

_He heard Lily utter these words nervously and he was pulled back to the present, his cheeky grin once again appearing across his face. 'Oh really?' he thought. _

_Before he could thank her for the flattery, she continued rushed._

"_I've heard rumors about you James, around school, especially from the girls. I know the reputation you've built for yourself with… the female population at school. And, well, it's that sort of thing I was looking for."_

_His eyebrows flew up in surprise. She was looking for someone with his skills? Why in the world would this innocent seventh year want someone with a forte in seduction? Maybe she was searching for the perfect guy to lose her virginity to! No that was too perfect to imagine, although he could see Lily being the kind of girl to have a rigorous screening process for such a thing. He didn't have much time to puzzle it out as she continued with her hurried explanation._

"_I'd heard that you and Sirius were the… well let's just say the Casanovas at school. But there was something about Sirius that rubbed me wrong. He was too… too boisterous and loud. You were more subtle, more charming. I mean that's what I had heard. And then I even saw it in the few weeks I kept my eye on you. I mean you were quite debonair; I even saw you massage the small of a girl's back at breakfast one morning. She was quite flustered."_

_Wow she really had been keeping close watch on him. He found it very appealing. Maybe this girl had a thing for him after all! Maybe the past months had just been a confusion of signals! He was getting more and more hopeful with every word she spoke. _

"_And so I decided that I needed to find out for myself if what I had heard was really true. So that was another reason I wanted to tutor you. It was the perfect opportunity for me to get to know you. I wanted to get close to you and see if it worked. I mean I know I'm not much to look at but I thought at least I was better than some of your other conquests. You didn't seem too picky."_

_Gosh, that was pretty straightforward. He was slightly offended until he realized she was right, he hadn't been too selective in the past. And he didn't have much time to waste feeling hurt since she had just said she hadn't wanted to get close to him! So she had wanted this just as much as he had? Wow, she did a great job of hiding it._

_He was just about to tell her that she was most likely the most beautiful woman he had ever gone after when she continued with her reasoning._

"_So I got close to you. And to be completely honest I was a little worried when after months you didn't at all seem like your normal self. I mean you didn't once hit on me it seemed. You were always stuttering and I was worried that you were disgusted by me or something. You never paid attention during our tutoring sessions so I thought you were just completely bored with me, like sitting there with me was like watching paint dry."_

_Wow did she have it backward. He wanted to tell her just how wrong she was and how he had been distracted during tutoring because of her heavenly body and amazing eyes but it seemed rude to interrupt when she was on such a roll. So he let her continue. _

"_And then it came to the point a few days ago when we were going to tutor in the library. I figured I'd given it the old college try once more to see if I could get some kind of response from you. And you know what I did? I'm embarrassed even saying it… I even unbuttoned by shirt a couple extra buttons, thinking maybe that would finally catch your attention. I know, I know. It's ridiculous and I even felt kind of pathetic resorting to such things but it finally seemed to work. I think anyways. You remember right? The night you put your hand on mine and told me that I was… amazing."_

_She fumbled with her skirt hem and looked down in embarrassment. He remembered the night all right. He remembered the cleavage and that third button he figured she had overlooked. He especially remembered thanking God for it and getting a giant erection under the table because of it and scenarios it brought to mind. She **was** amazing. To think she had done that on purpose too. She had had him wrapped around her finger the entire time and he hadn't even realized it. James had to admit he was impressed. _

"_Then I panicked. I ran out of there, thinking that was certainly not the kind of response I was expecting. I don't know, now that I think about it I realize it was completely irrational. I had expected a leg stroke under the table or maybe you nibbling on my ear but telling me I was amazing sounded very unlike the James Potter I had heard about. I had never heard you say something like that. But I have to give you credit you did sound sincere."_

_It had been sincere; she was amazing. But at the same time he couldn't believe how dimwitted she could be. What else could that be mistaken for but simple overwhelming adoration? He was obsessed with her! How could she not see it?_

"_But then you ran after me and told me you had a crush on me. That took me by surprise certainly since I had been told that admittance of feelings was certainly not in your repertoire. But I thought that maybe it was just some new tactic you were using so I was optimistic that maybe I could try to get you to lust after me."_

_If only she knew how much he had lusted after her. His cheeks burned at the thought of the dreams he had been having for weeks. _

"_And I was even more optimistic when you said we had to meet next in the Astronomy tower. I mean I heard, only briefly, of the things that went on up there. The… sexual things. Did you know about that? …Well of course you had to know about that given your reputation. But anyways, I figured it was a good place for you to make a move and I predicted right. You recall the kiss; it was only last night. I hope I was wasn't that forgettable." _

_Forget it? Was she kidding? He would never forget it, for the rest of his life. The girl needed a serious boost in self-confidence. He stared at her in complete disbelief, her cheeks almost the same shade as her radiant hair. _

"_Before the kiss I doubted your reputation, wondering if what I had heard had maybe just been an elaborate rumor. But that kiss… it was amazing! I mean you made me actually feel as if there was chemistry between us. I couldn't believe it. Then I thought maybe that the entire stuttering and acting so nervous thing was a tactic too. After that I was sure of it. And I must say bravo James! Quite an elaborate trick."_

_An elaborate trick? 'I must have been pretty pathetic for someone to think I would do such a thing on purpose,' he thought. But was she serious about that whole chemistry lot? You couldn't just make feelings like that appear no matter how good of a kisser you were. And James was certainly up there. God, she was completely clueless about anything involving love, wasn't she? Damnit, there was that word again. But where was this going? The way she was talking about it made him think he shouldn't be so flattered and worry more about where this was all leading. _

"_That's why I walked into your room last night. I was planning on offering up this proposition then but I unfortunately walked in on a bit of an… awkward situation. I can't say how sorry I am for interrupting. I hope I didn't hurt your chances with the girl. She was quite lovely… I mean not that I was looking at you guys or anything… But seeing what I did see, I realized that the rumors if anything were understated. I mean she was basically screaming your name!"_

_He couldn't even look her in the eye anymore. It hurt to think she had walked in and not felt anything but a mild respect for his abilities with women. He wanted her desperately to be jealous or depressed to see such a thing. He had had dreams about her crying for what? She obviously wasn't upset about it. Embarrassed yes, but nowhere near as distraught as he had been before going to bed last night. The realization at how little she cared made his heart go up in his throat. He turned away as she looked at him in awe._

"_But I'm sorry, I haven't even told you where this is all going. You see I, I have feelings for a certain someone. And I'm fairly certain they're completely out of my league."_

_He snorted at the absurdity of it. No one was out of her league. If he wasn't out of her league, than no one was. Who could she see at this school as being too good for her? This conversation was just sending him farther and farther over the edge. Did she realize how much she was tormenting him?_

"_Excuse me but your laughing at me does not help my situation at all. So that's what my proposition is for. James I was hoping you could help my situation by using your… well your God given abilities if you know what I mean."_

_He once again was confused. How could his sexual abilities help her snag some guy that wasn't him? And for that matter, why would he want to help her snag someone else? Apparently his confusion was evident because she blushed before launching into her reasoning._

"_James, this man is out of my league in more ways than one. He incredibly good looking, charming beyond belief, intelligent, and I just can't stop thinking about him. Firstly I can't even talk to him without acting like a complete idiot. I act much the same way you acted around me, except not on purpose of course, nervous and stuttering because I like him just so much. But not only can I not even talk to him, but also he's much more experienced than me… sexually."_

_Realization was dawning on him. His eyes were huge and his mouth hung open at the idea that she was proposing. _

"_By the look on your face I'm guessing you are beginning to understand the proposition. Before I can possibly expect to… be with this man, I need to know the ways if you understand my meaning. So… I was hoping you could help me with that. I was hoping you could tutor me in your area of expertise."_

_Was she crazy? Was she suggesting what he thought she was suggesting? No, it was too preposterous, too insane! This was the sort of thing a guy dreams about: a girl offering themselves to you, asking for instruction in the ways of sex, and wanting nothing in exchange, no strings attached. There was certainly an obvious benefit to him. He would get to be with Lily in more ways than one. But he couldn't, not like that he couldn't. He wanted the strings attached; he wanted her to come to him for his charm and intellect and sense of humor also, not just use him for his body. It was an incredible offer but it just didn't feel right._

"_This would entail certain things obviously. But I think you would be better at figuring that out than me. I just need someone's help and I figured since we already know one another it would be better if you could help than someone else. Plus if you help me with this I can be certain that you do even better in Charms. I promise, I'll work even harder with you. Think of it as repayment for my help tutoring you. I know I'm not the first girl you were hoping would offer you this kind of deal but I think I could really learn from you. I know I'd be a great student."_

_She finally stopped talking and looked at him. His face was blank, too many emotions to possibly hold in one look. He was completely lost for words; he had no idea what to say. Words were simply eluding him. He opened his mouth but simply closed it again. _

"_I understand if you need some time to think about it. I kind of rushed through the whole thing and just threw this idea on you… Well, just get back to me when you've decided okay?"_

_She laughed nervously and walked towards the door, still partially blocked by his body. He moved aside and she stopped, placing an arm delicately on his own. She leaned in close to him and whispered._

"_Just think about it okay? Please James?" With that she leaned in, kissing him slightly at the corner of his mouth and walked out the door. _

_He fell back against the door with a thud and spoke his first word since entering the room._

"_What?"_

And now he sat in class, just running over the idea again and again. Weighing the advantages and disadvantages. He looked up and saw Professor Dumbledore still lecturing at the front of the classroom. He turned to his right and saw Remus fervently taking down notes, and on his left Sirius slept behind a standing book, a soft snore escaping his mouth. James slowly pulled out a piece of parchment and decided to organize his thoughts. A pros and cons list would be useful right? He dipped his quill in the black ink and began scrawling letters, which could only be seen as chicken scratch.

**Pros: **

**Chance to get to know Lily better**

**Possibility of her seeing how she really feels about me.**

**Perhaps improve her opinion of me, get her to like me for me (personality and my body). **

He laughed a pitiful laugh at that one, realizing he would basically become a prostitute. God, how many men would love to be prostitutes? There had to be something wrong with him.

**Get to fool around with her. Take her virginity?**

She had to be a virgin; he couldn't imagine her asking for this kind of instruction if she wasn't. But he screwed his face up in a frown as the vulgarity of his own writing. But it had to be said, it was certainly a plus and taking her virginity was something he had definitely thought about it. It would be like fulfilling his fantasies, and despite what he meant to her she would always remember her first time. They would be linked forever because of it. But the statement still irked him. He scratched it out and rewrote.

**Get to fool around with her. Take her virginity? **

**Make love to Lily. **

So there were the advantages to it. But the disadvantages certainly had weight as well.

**Cons:**

**Be used by Lily without feeling.**

**Lose my self-respect. **

**Possibility of her remaining oblivious to how I feel about her.**

**Fall in love with her and then have my heart broken as she walks away into another guy's arms. **

He looked at the last disadvantage for at least a minute. The word love had already worked its way into his head more than once and there was no point trying to deny that it was a definite possibility anymore. He felt for her like he had never felt for a girl before. And there was also no doubt that being with her like that would only make him more attached. If she could walk away from this without feeling anything for him, then he certainly would have his heart torn to shreds. But was he willing to take that risk?

He studied the list until he heard chairs scraping against the floor. He looked around and saw that everyone was filing out of the classroom; class had ended and he hadn't even realized it. He turned towards the door and he saw Remus and Sirius waiting for him. He gestured for them to not wait up as he gathered his stuff, and they nodded in return. He slowly packed his things into his bag as the idea continued to run circles around him.

"Mr. Potter, can I help you with something?"

He looked up suddenly to see that Dumbledore had yet to leave the classroom. He stood next to James' desk, offering a welcoming smile.

"Oh hi Professor. No I think I'm fine. I just have a lot on my mind."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I need to make a decision, a pretty important decision. I just don't know what to do."

"Well I would suggest thinking about it rationally. Which would be the best for your future?"

James had a feeling Dumbledore didn't know exactly what kind of decision he was dealing with. How could he? It's not like this was an every day dilemma.

"Yeah thanks Professor, I'll think about that."

Dumbledore smiled as James moved towards the door.

"But James…"

James turned back to him just as he reached the doorway.

"Yeah Professor?"

"If that's not quite the advice you were looking for then I suggest you listen to your gut… and your heart. Often times they are telling you the same thing. And heck, you only live once. Remember that James."

He smiled wisely as James nodded slowly. He said his thanks once more and turned to leave the classroom. What was his gut telling him? Well it was groaning because he had been holed up in a classroom listening to a certain redhead instead of eating breakfast. And he knew what his lower anatomy was hoping he chose. But his heart, well his heart was telling him it was willing to get broken.

Professor Dumbledore was right; you only live once.

So it was decided then. He would do it. He would throw all caution to the wind and listen to his heart. It hadn't gotten a chance to speak much in the past anyways; his heart rarely even had an opinion on the girls he messed around with. But it was speaking loud and clear now and it called for being with Lily, in whatever way possible. As the decision was made a huge weight seemed to be lifted off of his shoulders. He practically ran to the Great Hall, eager to eat and eager to tell Lily his decision. He came into the Hall, slowly to a fast walk as he sped by his mates sitting at one end of the Gryffindor table. He past the many faces looking at him in his hurried state. He spotted Lily and slid into the seat next to her.

She turned away from her friends, who had stopped talking to look curiously at him. She looked him in the eye and asked in a voice near whisper.

"Well? Have you decided?"

He smiled before taking her face in his hands and kissing her ardently. He pulled away a few seconds later to see a dazed Lily looking back at him. She regained her composure and looked down nervously, scraping her nail across the wooden table.

"Is that a yes than?"

He smiled. "That's a yes. Oh and lesson number one Lily, confidence is key."

He kissed her on the cheek before strolling over to his mates, leaving a dazed Lily and a handful of confused girls in his wake. He smirked as he slid in next to Sirius, who patted him on the back. If he was going to do this, he was going to do it right. And he was going to make it as hard as possible for Lily to ignore him. As he dug into his sandwich he thought cheerfully, 'This will be interesting.'

**I hope you guys liked it! Chapter Seven will be a little longer in the making since my computer is being a jerk. Let me know your thoughts!**


	7. This Keeps Getting Better and Better

**Alright, so here is the next chapter. I am not quite sure how I feel about it but let me know what you guys think. I am having some trouble with James emotions so it might seem like too much, but he should be feeling many different things at a moment like this should he not? I just hope it comes off as not too dramatic and somewhat believable. Sorry it took so long getting to you guys and thanks so much for the reviews, they are very very much appreciated. So read on and I hope you guys like!**

**Chapter 7**

Lily coughed nervously. "Alright, um, how should we go about doing this?" She stood in front of James only a few feet away, her arms crossed across the front of her chest.

James smirked at her complete lack of composure; how could a person be so socially inept yet so attractive and endearing? He stepped closer to her and she immediately turned her gaze to her feet.

"Well, I think first we should work on conversation. Conversation is a very important part of any sort of… relationship." He hated uttering that word; to think that he was giving her advice on how to develop a relationship with someone other than himself. It made him sick to his stomach.

"Yes that's very logical. Let's do that," she said, as she nodded vehemently. The studious Lily had once again reared its ugly, yet irresistible, head. Was she going to treat this like any other class at Hogwarts, with cold determination and simple hard work? He didn't know if he liked that or not. Well, he certainly didn't enjoy the cold detachment aspect, but the idea of her working hard… with him… well that was certainly enticing.

It was there first lesson, the first time he was the teacher and she the student. At the realization that he was now the one in control, he had been able to gain a little bit of his cool composure back. Now she was the student, the one inept and fumbling, looking for assistance. And he was almost his old charming self again, almost. He had told her earlier in the day across the breakfast table that they would be meeting in the Astronomy Tower, and he had received an embarrassed giggle and deep blush in response. The flush an obvious result of the recollection of the incredible kiss they had shared in that same room only days before. That was part of the reason he had chosen the location. He had decided soon after agreeing to be part of this plan that he was going to make it as hard as possible for her to ignore him. And that included all means of seduction, from charm to the simple ambience of the room-nothing was below him. If he was going to get his heart broken he wanted to at least say that he made a decent effort before getting thrown to the gutter.

"I also think it is very important that you learn to be a bit more composed and confident around other blokes as well."

She frowned deeply and straightened her rigid pose even more. "I don't know what you mean. I feel like I'm quite normal around regular boys."

James laughed before taking another step closer to her. She swallowed loudly before taking a step backwards herself. He took another step closer and she again backed up. This continued until she was firmly against the cold stone tower wall. She quickly looked to either side, realizing the position she was in, and James couldn't help but see the close resemblance to a helpless animal trapped in a corner. But instead of feeling sorry for her, a wicked smirk danced across his face. Yes, Lily was certainly between a rock and a hard place; the wall being the rock and the hard place… well, let your imagination wander.

He stepped again closer to her, putting his body against hers. He placed each of his hands squarely on the wall around her, caging her inside his arms. He looked down at her and saw her head turned nervously to the side. He could smell her, that wonderful scent that he still couldn't quite place. He felt her body turn rigid against his as he pushed his body into hers, pressing her harder into the wall.

"So? Right now, how do you feel? How should you be handling this situation Lily?"

"James, I, uh, I think any girl would be a little nervous in this situation. Why do you expect me to do right now?" She laughed nervously and shifted against him, trying desperately to escape his gaze, the closeness to his body, the entire situation. Unfortunately, the nervous fidgeting only made James more aroused. His voice took on a husky, deeper quality.

"Well Lily, most girls would think they were about to be kissed about now. And most girls wouldn't be frowning apprehensively. Many girls would welcome the idea of a kiss."

She finally looked up at him, their faces only inches apart. She looked him in the eye for a moment before switching her stare to his lips.

"Are you planning on kissing me though James?" The perfect thing to say at a moment like this, James thought, but said in the completely wrong way. There had been no tone of seduction or flirtation like he would have wanted; it had simply been an earnest question full of curiosity and innocence.

"Do you want me to kiss you Lily?" He couldn't stop himself from asking.

She tore her eyes from his mouth and stared into his eyes. She seemed to be pondering the question as James stared back, eyes undoubtedly full of lust and adoration.

After several seconds she answered, "If you think it will benefit the lessons, I suppose I would."

He couldn't look at her right then. He let out a pathetic, sad laugh at the realization that she really was blind to his charm. Studious Lily, always focused, always on track. He took his hands off the wall and stepped back, releasing her. He edged backwards, sliding his hand through his hair out of habit. He turned his gaze to the tattered rug beneath his feet before responding.

"Uh, you know, I think today we should just stick to basic social interaction. But that will have to be worked on eventually; I'm glad you're so… determined. Let's just take it slow okay?" He laughed at that last sentence; it was something he never thought he would utter, especially not to Lily.

"Okay let's just get back to work." He smiled and got a small one in return, one that made him ache a little inside.

"So we were talking about conversation before… Well, that was a perfect example of the necessity of keeping your cool. A guy isn't attracted to girls who are just huge balls of nerves… not sane guys anyways. A guy wants a girl with confidence. She needs to be able to talk without looking flustered or speechless; she needs to leave him flustered and speechless. A guy doesn't want a girl who gets embarrassed easily or uncomfortable at the idea of kissing him. You need to ooze confidence Lily; you need to never show what you're really feeling in order to keep the upper hand. And believe me, you need to keep the upper hand."

Lily looked puzzled. "That doesn't seem right. I can't show what I really feel so that he'll like me? That doesn't seem right at all."

"No, I agree, but this is only in the beginning. Despite what they might say, guys enjoy the chase, the witty banter, the flirtatious quips; it's all part of a big game. And you are the ultimate prize. If you show your feelings for him too fast, it will seem too easy and he'll lose interest. That's why you have to be confident, have a response for everything he says, and never look like you don't know what to do next. If a guy pushes you against a stone wall, you certainly shouldn't giggle nervously."

She nodded strongly with a knit brow, as if taking notes in her head. "Okay then, no laughing."

"No, not no laughing. Just no laughing when it comes to your… sexual interactions. A guy loves to have his jokes laughed at, in moderation mind you. He doesn't want some nitwit; at least this guy you were telling me doesn't sound like he does. But a guy never, I repeat never, wants to hear a giggle or laugh when it comes to his sexual abilities."

"So I have to be smooth, nonchalant and cavalier. I suppose I can learn to do that with time. But after that? When does he actually get to know me?"

A valid question, James thought. "Well when he sticks around for more than just sex and for you instead, then you'll know that he's not going anywhere and let down your guard a little." He smiled, wishing she would realize that that was just what he was doing, but there was no recognition in her expression. Only a thirst for knowledge.

They spent the rest of the lesson working on small talk and basic communication skills that somehow Lily had missed out on. They went through the art of smiling and eye contact, and discussed body language in general.

"So touching is important. If a guy is into you, he'll show it. He'll touch you often and simply want to be close to you." He paused for a moment, wondering if he could control himself, before saying, "Like this."

He positioned himself behind her and pulled her back against his chest. He looked down at her over her shoulder and gently slid his hand down her arm. The move was intimate and he couldn't think of any guy actually doing this to a girl unless some pretty intense feelings were involved, but he couldn't resist touching her.

"Or maybe he'll do this."

He came to her side and wrapped his arm around her waist, slowly dragging his hand from her hipbone to the spot just below her breast. He had to take a deep breath in order not to feel the curve of it with the back of his hand. Yet another very sexual move, but shouldn't he be taking advantage of this agreement like he planned? He had wanted to touch her for so long… it was hard to be a gentleman when he had months of pent up sexual frustration. She giggled and brushed his hand away.

"Stop that tickles." She turned to him smiling, a laugh still being emitted, and saw him staring back at her intently. She fell silent as they simply held each other's gaze for what seemed like minutes before she let out a little cough and turned away.

"Okay, well that's some good advice you gave me today James. Thank you so much."

James coughed as well, but only to make sure when he talked his voice would be even. "Of course Lily, when shall we be meeting next?"

"Well I was thinking about that and while I do very much like the idea of weekly meetings and think they should certainly continue, I was hoping we could do something else as well."

An image of wanton Lily sprawled across his bed suddenly popped into James' mind.

"What did you have in mind?"

She looked away nervously and he sighed an exasperated sigh. "Lily, you're going to have to learn to look me in the eye when you talk to me. You're going to have to learn to look all men in the eye eventually."

She fidgeted with her fingers slightly before looking him square in the eye. She took a deep breath before speaking.

"Well the idea, I don't know if you'll be up for it; it's somewhat ludicrous."

"Try me."

"Well, I was thinking, this boy, this man that I'm attracted to. I'm fairly certain he has never, ever looked at me in that light before, you know, in a sexual way. I'm always just such a bumbling idiot around him. And considering I am so completely inept at relationships, sex, and the like, I was hoping… that we could make our practice somewhat constant."

James didn't follow and the confusion showed in his face. "I'm not quite sure I understand."

"What I'm trying to ask is… if you would go steady with me?"

James stood there with a blank expression only for a moment before bursting out laughing. Had she really just proposed the idea? And had she really just used the phrase, "going steady?" He glanced at Lily and could see the mixture of embarrassment and agitation in her face from his sudden explosion of laughter but it couldn't be helped. It wasn't she he was laughing at but simply the sheer absurdity of what he had gotten himself into. Was this actually happening?

Here standing before him was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on, a woman whom he most certainly lusted after and cared for. Only yesterday she had proposed the idea that he become her hands-on sex ed teacher. And now? Now she was hoping that he would take her up on an offer, which would allow him to kiss her whenever he liked, touch her whenever he liked, and talk to her whenever he liked. And on top of all that, she was basically promising that he would get a response from her in return; he would get affection from the one girl who seemed to be oblivious to the intensity of his feelings for her. The whole concept was just so ridiculous, so ludicrous, so insane, he wondered if it was actually happening to him.

The laughter was not rooted in the question, "She's not serious," because James knew she was very serious, but in the question, "What the hell have I gotten myself into?" He laughed the laugh of a man at the end of his rope, a man mere inches from insanity. You might say that this new addition to the already emotionally complicated proposition had very obvious physical benefits, and James would likely agree with you. But yet James could see that this was only further upping the ante. He would be in heaven right now because of this new proposal if he weren't in hell. God, this was complicated, he thought.

'Why yes, Lily, of course I'll be your boyfriend,' James thought sardonically, 'but don't you worry about me getting any wrong ideas about you and me. Oh no, that won't happen at all. I won't get caught up in the fake kisses or the imitation flirtation you will learn to throw my way. I'm certain that I will be able to remember that this is all business and the moment you are a fine-tuned flirt and temptress, we will part ways the best of friends, loose ends all tied up, and no feelings hurt. You'll walk into the arms, and bed, of some other man, and I'll be able to look back at the experience with a simple happy nostalgia, glad to have had the experience in my life."

It's amazing how quickly the mind can work through something. In only a moment, it can weigh several possibilities with multiple tangents and come to a conclusion. It can measure the advantages against the disadvantages in seconds flat and have a solution prepared. For this was occurring in James' head at this exact moment. He laughed at how hard this was and yet how easy. Would it not be simple to just take Lily up on her offer and stroll through the hallways hands intertwined, kissing each other before class, smiling and talking all the live long day? His mind was pestering him about the cons, nagging at him like something he couldn't forget, and all the while he heard running through his head, 'You're going to get hurt, you're going to get hurt' over and over again.

But the rest of him? The rest of him was screaming for him to say yes. 'Say yes you idiot! Say yes! Let Lily smile up at you in the common room and fuck the thought that it might not be sincere. Who cares about the motives behind the actions; all that matters is that Lily will be kissing you and talking to you and touching you multiple times a day. Not just once but multiple!'

Fuck it. He had already thrown caution to the wind, why not invest a little more of his emotional state into this? Right? He wanted to look at this issue from the perspective of a hormone raging teenage boy but it was getting harder and harder to treat this nonchalantly. But what's another few months to the period of grieving? Okay maybe a year. No big deal, right?

His mind had worked quickly and this had all passed through his head in a matter of several seconds. At some point during his thoughts, the deranged laughter had ceased and he looked at Lily. She gazed at him with a look of sincere concern, with perhaps a smidgen of fear.

"Sorry Lily, I don't know what came over me just then. I suppose that would be alright," he said in a calm, level voice.

"Of course, I won't expect you to really think we're dating. I mean I don't expect you to not engage other girls. Perhaps they'll find you more appealing if you're unavailable. I've heard some girls like that."

Yep, it had just happened, he was off his rocker, out to lunch. He had to be insane considering all the voices running through his head. But then he reconsidered that possibility upon realizing that every single one of those voices was his own, simply expressing the multitude of emotions that was ripping through him right now. He didn't think it was possible to want to shake someone violently, rip their clothes off, and beg them for sympathy all at the same time. But Lily, once again, made him encounter another first.

"No Lily you won't need to worry about any other girls right now. You'll be the only one." He couldn't help his voice from quaking ever so slightly and it took quite an effort to keep from adding the word 'indefinitely' to that last sentence.

"Oh James, you don't need to make those kind of sacrifices. You sure you don't want a little more time to consider this? I mean it's kind of a big undertaking. You'll have to talk to me in public, and they'll also have to be plenty of kissing and touching involved since that's apparently what one does in a relationship. And everyone's going to see; you realize that right? Everyone will know."

Oh he realized all right. He only nodded in agreement, fully understanding the magnitude of this "undertaking."

"Oh James thank you!" You threw her arms around him and hugged him tight. That amazing smell filled his senses as he placed his arms around her.

She pulled away and continued talking.

"I just think this would be a good way to practice what you teach me. And whom better to practice on than the person who taught me, would you not agree? And perhaps it will catch the attention of a certain someone. It's good for you too, don't you see? If we do it like this I can help you with Charms more often, since we'll have to be together and all, and we'll get done with this faster. It won't be so drawn out then you see?" She smiled at him, her face full of gaiety, and he smiled weakly in return.

They walked back to the Gryffindor tower together in silence. James stood a few feet away through the corridors, not yet ready to start acting like they were dating. He was stunned into silence, overwhelmed by how much had occurred in the last twenty minutes and by how many thoughts were crowded into his head. He looked over at Lily and saw her looking out the corridor windows as they passed them by, each time the moonlight coming through and shining on her porcelain skin. Her expression was one of contentment, her lips curled ever so slightly at the ends. She was beautiful and she was smart, and unbeknownst to herself she was even funny sometimes. He couldn't think of one thing he disliked about her; well perhaps one, her complete ignorance of his feelings for her, or just his feelings in general. She had no idea she was hurting him, and _that_ really hurt.

They opened the portrait to the Gryffindor tower and found the common room packed despite the late hour. As they stepped through, Sirius, who was seated before a roaring fire with Peter and Remus, yelled at James.

"Prongs, over here mate. Come join us for a game of wizard's chess. These two infants have no idea what their doing." Remus rolled his eyes and James was momentarily uplifted, thinking perhaps this could distract him from other things for perhaps few moments.

He turned to Lily, still standing beside him, to say his goodnights.

"Well Lily, I suppose I'll see you tomorrow then? Goodnight."

She nodded in affirmation. "Yes, see you at breakfast most likely. Night."

He gave her a smile before turning towards his friends. But he had not walked a step before feeling a hand on his arm.

"James wait. I just wanted to say how much this means to me. I can't express how grateful I am. You're really doing me a big favor, you know. So thank you so much. Really, thank you."

He was about to say that it was nothing when he felt her lips on his. She had leaned forward and kissed him, stopping any chance of him talking. It was a gentle, innocent kiss, and James had to fight hard his urge to pull her into his arms and kiss her fervently. She pulled away and laughed anxiously before turning and heading up to her room.

James stood dazed for a moment in the middle of the common room. When he managed to look around him, he saw Sirius smiling mischievously at him as Remus gave a small smirk and Peter grinned like a fool. A smile crept onto his face, one he could not keep from showing up, and he walked over to his friends.

What was this they were doing? It was a charade, yes. But not only a charade for the entire school, but an act he was putting on before himself. And it wasn't a charade in the way that he was hoping all of Hogwarts would be fooled-he couldn't give a damn about them-it was himself he was hoping to fool. He saw the sheer stupidity of it, of course, but at the moment he couldn't care less. After a kiss like that, one that could be so simple and so quick yet leave him speechless, he didn't mind being deceived one bit. He was living in a land of make believe and it was every bit to his liking. He would forget about the emotional aspect and live in the moment. He had been doing that all of his life, why should it be so hard right now? Well it wouldn't, he would make it easy. For the moment, he didn't mind putting off reality.

"So you and Lily a thing now?" Sirius questioned off-handedly.

James let out a laugh. "Yeah I guess we are." And he said it with a actual smile.

**R and R, let me hear what you think. Chapter 8 shall soon be done!**


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